#despite me getting a lil better with editing

[mettywiththenotes]

Tiny Toga

[esthercore]

Thinking of older Fatui men with a young, promiscuous and insatiable lover (Genshin Edition) 18+

Featuring: Dottore, Pantalone, Capitano, Pierro

Cw: Dumbification. free use, exhibitionism, cock warming, tiny body worshipping, pet play, throat training, dacraphyllia

★ ⋮ Dottore ⸝⸝

Is somebody gonna match my freak? No, cause he's ten times worse then whatever the fuck you are.

On the counter, on his table, in his lab, in front whatever abominations he's working on, in the Sumerian Forest to relive his younger years and traumatizing all the aranara, yes sir, you two being fucking 24/7, you wanna be a needy little bitch, my my, he would love to indulge.

Now, he can't exactly just stop his work but that doesn't mean you gotta stop, just lap his balls like a good lil pup, and warm it while he work. And don't you dare try to retreat when somebody walks in his lab, nuh uh, you gotta do your job like a good baby, and focus on him and his cock.

Big on dumbification too, you wanna be little whore and give him those fuck me eyes 24/7? You wanna be a shameless slut humping on his leg when he's working cause you just need it so bad?

Silly thing, you are just asking for trouble aren't ya, getting the big scary doctor addicted to your insatiablilty, unable to focus on his work without his baby pleasing.

God how much he hate when you are doing something else than focus solely on him, and he equally hate when his darling is sad, but he is at the end of the day Dottore, so of course he won't deal with his worries normally.

So, hitting to birds with one stone, he will make sure one way or other to make you his personal fleshlight, constantly pleasuring him and since no thoughts except cock, no sad darling.

Though the jerk sometimes will deny you pleasure or outright attention if he wants in the mood to spice things up. Will lick stains you tears after you fall asleep after crying.

Oh, and despite all the agents in his faction being uncomfortable with the blatant shamelessness of their Boss, and the struggle they go through to not catch a glance of naked you in between his legs, cause that would just lead to their beheading, at least they are grateful that you being there makes him at least a bit rational.

★ ⋮ Pantalone ⸝⸝

Oh he digs it, definitely the type keep you as his sugar baby, his pretty eye candy he likes to stay on his lap during his meetings. Dressing you up in the prettiest jewels and the softest fabrics, his sweet sweet status symbol.

Loves just being with you 24/7, you make up as a fine entertainment, having you hanging around his arm, groping you in front of whoever's talking to him, shamelessly if they are someone below in rank or discreetly if he respect the other person in front of him. But never showing much of your skin, although he loves to show off his darling, their precious body is only for him to savor.

And also the type to not mind if you have a promiscuous reputation, finds it cute even, you are a trained and experienced one, so that just means better quality, might even tease you about, if he can get a good reaction.

But, that doesn't mean he likes when someone else, especially your ex hook ups point it out, especially if you don't like that. The business smile on his face will remain the same except he will have that anime villain black aura around him, that make the latter super uncomfortable. Don't sweat your pretty head if you later found that person wailing in the northern bank, just focus on your lover.

Big on cock warming too, except instead of oral like Dottore he likes to use your warm holes. Not a big fan on keeping you on the floor, kneeling in front of him, you are his treasure, you deserve to be in equal standing. Sometimes during his break he like to lift you to his table, and pleasure you orally, savoring your taste for a good while, as a thank you for keeping him company.

★ ⋮ Capitano ⸝⸝

For the captain it's just another one of your cute traits, his needy little lover he likes to take everywhere. Now especially a much younger lover will make Capitano extra protective of them, hence being the only one who will find your insatiably a bit worrisome, especially concerned with how much he could indulge due to being extremely well endowed down below.

Now unlike the other three, his work is out in the battle fields, and heavy expeditions, and normally he would prefer to keep you tucked in Snezhnaya, but insatiable darling is a special case, where he can't just leave them alone with no one to pleasure which means, he just have you travel with him, wherever he goes next, having at least 10 fatui members as your body guard 24/7, and him carrying you princess style, on his back, whatever fits wherever the carriages during the travels can't go, cause fucking him is a goodbye to your legs.

Now back to Capitano's big dick problem, this man loves to use your mouth, but his dick is so hard to fit in! So before travelling with you, back in Snezhnaya he had you warm his cock for prolonged amount of time, slowly increasing the length everyday, so your throat can accommodate his monster of a cock, till you can deepthroat like a pro!

Also likes to pleasure you with his mouth and fingers, stretching you out before every session, despite how much experienced you are, because his cock will hurt, and he can't have his little darling in pain, that just ruin his own pleasure.

But, that's Capitano on a normal day, cause behind the gentle boyfriend persona, there's a devious monster, which comes out when the adrenaline kicks in, especially after a battle, the second he sees you, he's ripping your clothes up, plowing you like a rice farmer, with his tongue shoved down your throat. This isn't jut sex anymore, it's your lover's need to be deeper inside you, as a person, as if he wanna fuck your soul, desperate to have you in his eternity.

Kinda likes exhibitionism too, gets super flustered if you point out the soldiers outside your tent could probably hear you getting railed and then start fucking you even harder, blessing them with your pretty moans.

No one brings up your past or your inability to walk for few days after they heard you moaning loud enough to wake a village like a chicken, out of respect for the captain.

★ ⋮ Pierro ⸝⸝

He's too old and grumpy to keep up with your bullshit. Try to flirt with him in front of someone and he smack your head. No he's not blushing! Don't point it out, he has he reputation to keep up.

Out of everyone on this list, Pierro will be the one most embaressed to have a lover like this. He has never been the type to around, always been a straight forward man, focused on his work, ethics and goals, even during his days before Khanneria fell. So now having to deal with you it trully is overwhelming for the old man.

Now that doesn't mean he hates it, this man is a simp in heart for real-for real, he just don't know how to show it and has a big enough ego to not try, so yeah, he's tsundere granpa.

Not a big fan of people talking about your reputation, that just pisses him off, you might have a past, but now you are entirely his, and if someone dares mention it, they will disappear from the face of Tevyat.

Also cause grandpa, he fucks the least in the list, but when he doesss. The man fucks nasty, like a rabid animal, making up for all the denial, 10/10 eyes rolling, multiple orgasms, thighs weakening, throat drying by how much he make you scream.

Likes to degrade you for being a desperate whore, calling you mean names till you cry, only to fuck you harder when he start seeing your tears, god this man loves those tears.

Big on pet play too, like calling you his dumb bunny, telling you how you are as simple minded as an animal, as you mouth his dick, earning you a smack as your teeth graze his cock. Once he starts coming out of his shell, he like to keep you in a collar, sometimes even adding a collar to your neck, and just look at you or drag you around.

| Tell me suggestions for other men who fit in this trope (current list: (Genshin) Zhongli, Neuvillette; (HSR) Welt, Blade, Jing Yuan)

[catiuskaa]

sway with me —bf!minho thoughts.

A/N: the bf!thoughts series is finished! I’m so happy I could finish it. I had so much fun coming up with these lil scenarios. Feel free to check them all out, they’re all linked in my masterlist!

(because everyone loved chan's edition so much and it's really easy to get ot8 brainrot for headcanons and because i love my little bunny boy minho~!)

(this ended up being longer than expected lol)

minho, who’s been training all afternoon inside the company’s practice room. He feels sweaty as he pants, laying on the floor.

minho, who’s so comfortable resting on the wooden floor that doesn’t even bother to open his eyes when the door creaks open, a known silhouette entering with small steps.

minho, who can’t stop a small smile that creeps from the deepest parts of his body when he hears your soft tone of voice call his name, almost in a whisper. “Minho, baby? Are you awake?” For a moment, he pretends to be asleep, and relaxes his body, feeling you move closer to him.

minho, who snickers before lauching his body over yours, rolling on the floor with your body pressed tightly against his, and then stops, smiling from all your giggling when he pins you down.

minho, who gently lowers his head and stays right above yours, almost tempting you to move when he boops your nose with his, then tenderly leaves a shy kiss on your forehead.

minho, who gets too shy after that display of affection that he grins slyly, abruptly letting all his weight on you.

minho, who teasingly refuses to move from on top of you, a childish mockery that you cherish because of how sappy and cute he looks when he wiggles his eyebrows and raises his tone of voice, just like a toddler.

minho, who blushes furiously after you enticingly start peppering his face with kisses, unconciously leaning for more, but then, he reminded himself where you both were.

minho, who quickly rushes back to his feet as you cackle, still on the floor. “Yeah. Reeeeeeally funny.” He mumbles, not being able to cover his red-tinted cheeks or his flustered smile.

minho, who says he has to finish his training. “just one more time, jagi.” He claims, lying through his teeth.

minho, who only wants to dance again because he loves to feel your stare on him as his body moves to the music, smirking at you through the mirror when your cheeks turn slightly pink.

minho, who grins like a fool when you recognize the song and stand up from the sofa, cheeky as you laugh and state that you know this dance better than he does.

minho, who lets you have the spotlight as you laugh, making up moves as you dance, letting the rythm and the melody guide your way.

minnho, who loves to see you dancing anytime, not only because of how good your skills may or may not be, but because how cheerful you look.

minho, who finishes practice and gets home with you with a big smile on his face despite how draining training can get sometimes.

minho, who thinks the best part of the day is when he comes out of the shower and you smile at him, moving your paperwork somewhere else as you start heating up dinner for both of you.

minho, who backhugs you and moves his hand from your waist to underneath your shirt, a move not overly sexual coming from him, but rather one that makes your heart flutter.

minho, who slowly sways your body as he humms, happy that you like dancing and cooking with him, but even happier that you are here with him.

(aish it got so fluffy i almost cried abkdbakdjakd so cute i love minho ajdjajdjkadka —more incomprehensible sounds from cuteness overload—)

[chubsonthemoon]

It is done! This is The Death of Translation, originally written in English by @landwriter, translated into Mandarin by @thirrith. Binding is dos-à-dos, with English version on one side and Mandarin on the other. Bookcloth was handwoven by me, on my rigid heddle loom :3

More under the cut!

Typeset: Fanbinders are Liars

Full stop, this typeset would not have been possible without Eth and all their patience, enthusiasm, and willingness to do even more translating! I reached out to them *checks watch* nearly a year ago in July 2023 (lololol), asking if I could use their translation of TDOT in a surprise bind I wanted to send along with Gloam's author copy of Flower King. They were kind enough to say yes, and even kinder to answer my questions when I reached out six months later in January, when I was finally able to start work on the typeset.

We talked about the many delicious things that are bound to come up when discussing translating not just from English to Mandarin, but also from digital space to meatspace. Some topics I had anticipated, like font questions, translating the colophon, etc. But even with the topics I thought I'd prepared for, there were still things that came up that both surprised and delighted: for example, while AO3's website allows for italics in Mandarin--

--my publishing program doesn't (or at least, it doesn't without needing to manually tilt every character by about 10 degrees). So as a workaround, Eth suggested changing these cases of italics to the font 华文楷体:

Through no one's fault but my own, this ended up being only slightly less work than manually tilting every instance of italics--I wanted to be sure that I got all of them, so I ended up doing a lot of double-checking manually anyway, instead of relying solely on the Search function. There was a lot of cross-referencing with the Word document that Eth was kind enough to provide, as well as squinting and general swearing. I also did the same for the uses of Latin script, manually styling each instance as Garamond to keep it consistent with the English edition:

The only other time I've had to do font surgery this intensive is probably for my typeset for Tell Me About the Big Bang, which I had to port over from a PDF. Folks, hell on earth. Do not recommend XD I remember squinting at my monitor as I had to visually confirm every instance of italics, thinking I will never do this again. Welp, four years later, here were are: fanbinders are liars, LMAO. At the very least, using Eth's Word document at least allowed me to search by styles, so it was a little easier on my eyes. 🙏

Is there a script that I might've been able to use if I was more code-savvy? Probably. But I figured going at it sledgehammer style would be the least hair-pulling way to get the job done, weirdly enough. Still, despite my best efforts, there are a few instances of PMingLiU to Garamond and PMingLiU to 华文楷体 that I know I missed, and I know I missed them because I caught them after I'd printed/cut/folded/sewn/glued (cue more swearing), so Gloam and Eth, my apologies >.< please consider them artifacts of a uniquely handmade object ajslkdjfs

In addition to the fonts, there were also some other fun things Eth and I discussed, like how to translate the notes I usually provide on the colophons! In addition to information on fonts, I also usually include some variation of:

This private, limited edition published by chubsthehamster (Moonham Press, imprint of Renegade Publishing) in 2024. This is chubsthehamster's personal copy. Out of three existing copies, this is the first.

The thing that came up with this, which still tickles my brain to this day, was how Eth chose how to translate "Moonham Press, imprint of Renegade Publishing." To get a better sense of what word to use for "imprint," they asked what the relationship was between Moonham Press and Renegade Publishing, which got me thinking about the relationship between my lil imprint and the wonderful @renegadeguild:

What's all very funny about all of this is that we are now, in fact, going by the name "Renegade Bookbinding Guild," per our most recently updated Code of Conduct. While this renders the wording I asked for out of date (and thus, the wording that made it into the book out of date :'D), I think it's also a testament to how cool the work @renegadeguild is doing--like any artform, fanbinding is alive, with its own evolving language, communities, and ideas about the craft. And I love it, I love it so much. (Was this also a plug for our new-ish website? Perhaps).

There's more I could say here, but this post is already going to be long enough, so I'll move on for now! If you get anything from this section, it's that @thirrith is amazing and very patient and kind, and I'm so grateful that we got to talk shop together. Thank you so much for all your invaluable help with this, Eth! I hope the typeset, though undoubtedly flawed, does your hard work justice!

Binding: Or, SO Much Math. Like, So Much, Guys. (It was worth it, though!)

Whoo, boy! So math was never my strong suit in school, but when I set out to do this bind last year, that wasn't an issue. At first. The dos-à-dos binding, if anything, just requires a little bit of finagling on the usual case-bound format--a bit more math if you want to do an all-cloth cover, like I planned on doing, but nothing I couldn't work out with some trial and error. (My prototype below!)

Then came February, when I took a weaving class with my friend, and then everything kinda exploded.

My original idea was to use some green Duo bookcloth I had on hand (this color, actually)--for those of you not initiated into the Duo cult, Duo is a Rayon bookcloth with a very devoted fan following in Renegade. It's very pretty; the Rayon weave is one color, and the paper backing is usually complementary color, so it has this cool two-toned effect. Duo is in high demand in Renegade circles because sadly, the company that manufactures it went out of business last year. (Although I've heard rumors recently that there's another company making something similar, but the cloth has a really high purchase requirement and is, like, for businesses only I think).

Anyway, I also wanted to have a gold line around the whole book as a kind of bellyband/obi to further connect the two versions of the story (another reason why I chose the dos-à-dos format to begin with heh), as you can see from my scribbled notes here--

But alas! I knew going in that adhering things to Duo is often Problematic, thanks to one very painful experience trying to get some iron-on foil on another bind (the textured surface of Duo just makes it kinda hard to stick or paint stuff on it). So if I wanted a clean, continuous line, the remaining options were to either paint it on a strip of paper that I'd somehow...adhere to the cloth? Or maybe cut different slices of bookcloth and glue them on. I wasn't satisfied with either of those options, though.

Then--the weaving class. I made a scarf, and I love it and I loved making it. But the whole time, I'll not lie, my thoughts were elsewhere.

In short, my decision to weave my own bookcloth kinda came from a few different factors:

The desire to attempt to recreate Duo, that elusive beauty, the one that got away, etc. (I have several yards in my stash, but still). Others have also attempted to recreate it, and I thought I'd throw my hat in the ring.

My current spiral into the deep hole that is fiber arts (it started with crochet, then knitting, then sewing, then weaving, then spinning, and now I'm eyeing quilting! Please help me).

The gold line. It kept bugging me. And when I found weaving, I just thought there was something very neat about the process of actually making the cloth for a dos-à-dos binding from scratch, and especially for this binding. I wanted to bind a story about translation (or rather, the death of it, and yet still the necessity of it--how we must try to communicate, despite of, or perhaps precisely because of, everything that gets lost in the spaces between people, and the tragedy of that loss, and the beauty of what makes it through, and the love always present in the effort regardless), and also, the translation of that story. Weaving is a very meditative process, and with every pass of the shuttle, back and forth, building slowly but surely the fabric that would hold the story that Gloam had written and that Eth had translated, I thought a lot about translation, and the gaps between people, and how we choose our words not just when translating, but when we speak at all. From a design perspective, I used the same colors I would've used had I chosen the Duo bookcloth--green and gold--so the design wasn't too altered in terms of color scheme. But I think the choice to weave the bookcloth--the thing that bound it all together--made the project take on a completely new meaning for me, both in process and in scope, one that hadn't been there when I started. I saw the warp, perhaps, as the original story, laying the groundwork for the weft, the translation; or maybe it was the other way around, with the translation providing the scaffolding for its own, new meaning, choices that Eth had to make with this word or phrase or another building something new, something translated, and the original a live, moving thing that wove over and under each word turned phrase turned story; or maybe it was both. Maybe it didn't matter which was which, in the end. And as I wove, the thing that connected them, that gold line that had started all of this, slowly formed.

All that to say: Good God, was there a lot of math. So much math. That prototype pictured above was actually made specifically so I could calculate exactly how much I needed to weave, lol, because while I certainly had enough thread, I didn't want to have to warp more than once. I'd learned the basics in my class, but the training wheels came off here. I wanted to make my own custom fabric, which meant calculating things like ends per inch, picks per inch, loom waste, shrinkage after washing, the width of that damn gold line, how much I'd need for the hinge, the turn-ins, the boards--the whole nine yards (I didn't actually weave nine yards tho heh). It was all absolutely worth it in the end--so challenging and so, so rewarding!

(And my final reason for weaving the bookcloth? Not gonna lie, It was because I just wanted to see if I could do it LOL. I love trying at least one new thing with each of my binds, and this was it for this project. While I've been bookbinding for a few years now, I'm still very much a beginner weaver, and I'm so excited to continue to learn and experiment! Also, here's a video of me unwinding the cloth from the loom, heh. I used 10/2 Perle cotton in gold and green colors :3)

Also, turns out, you can back handmade cloth the same way you can any other cloth! I backed it using my usual heat-n-bond method, and with some Unryu Tissue in the color Forest. Since the cloth itself is a bit transparent, there are a bunch of really fun fibers you can see when it's held up to the light, but which aren't visible when the cloth is glued down to the boards. Still, knowing they're there still makes me happy :D

Finally, capping all this off, is one final, small detail I really liked: ginkgo leaf endpapers :3 this one's for me and Eth and Gloam specifically <3

Aaaand that's all from me for today, folks! Thus ends (several months late XD) my last Binderary project for the year. This was probably my most ambitious bind to date, and gosh it was so, so much fun.

And, of course, thank you so much to Gloam for sharing your story, and Eth for translating it. I can't wait for y'all to receive your copies soon!

All my love! <3

[httpsserene]

I love your entire page, so I was thrilled to see that your requests are open. May I request a story with Daniel Ricciardo x Reader? Perhaps something where the reader is experiencing a moment of low self-esteem, comparing herself to his ex, and feeling down since they've recently started dating, yet the fans want his ex back. When Danny is dominant it makes me melt so perhaps a smut that is center on body worshipping yet leads to crazy back shots/missionary. He made you come multiple times and despite you trying to tap out , he’s not stopping anytime soon creating a big creamy mess 🫠

𝖍𝖙𝖙𝖕𝖘𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖓𝖊'𝖘 2𝕶 𝕾𝖕𝖊𝖈𝖎𝖆𝖑 | 𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕯𝖆𝖓𝖎𝖊𝖑 𝕽𝖎𝖈𝖈𝖎𝖆𝖗𝖉𝖔 𝕰𝖉𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

𝐄𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐝𝐞 𝐅𝐨𝐮𝐫: 𝐓𝐨𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐰 𝟐

Summary: She’s the least favorite Formula One WAG. At first, she was optimistic, the fans would eventually get over it and maybe even start liking her—but she now knows that was a pretty naive thought. She’s constantly compared to Daniel’s ex-girlfriend—she’s not as pretty as her, she’s not as supportive as her, she’s not as popular as her, etc. Unfortunately, in a moment of low self-esteem—she breaks and thinks maybe the fans are right. Daniel, with a sixth sense of knowing when you’ve lost your mind, comes home and sees you gathering every belonging of yours that’s migrated to his apartment like you’re breaking up with him. He tries to change your mind with his words, but that doesn’t quite reassure you completely; so he has no choice but to do it with his actions, too. Pairing: daniel ricciardo x fem!black-coded!reader (her skin is described as brown) Content Warning: 18+ only. mdni. explicit sexual content. no beta we die like men. no srs it’s barely edited. angst with a happy ending. hurt/comfort. dom/sub undertones. arguing. breaking up/making up. those three little words. attempt at humor (a lil bit). implied subspace. insecure!reader. body worship. vaginal sex. oral sex (female receiving). online hate. overstimulation. protected sex. aftercare. this is dirty, i am so sorry. Word Count: 5k words.

Author's Notes: okay it's a couple hours late, but i was hit with a little creative genius and i think you guys will really enjoy this one! and it's the longest one too! an entire five-thousand words wow. aren't you glad i added more to this masterpiece.

let me know what you think! xxxxx

prev 2k special join taglist feedback & requests table of contents next ↻

You’re trending on Twitter. No—not for one of your TikToks that you hope went viral, but under the hashtag #breakupwithherdaniel. Fans have decided to start a movement to make signs to take to the next Grand Prix, with pictures of your face posted next to that hashtag. In all of the tweets, they’re commenting on how they wished Daniel and his ex were still together, or comparing you to her, and saying that you’re toxic—you! In this situation, where none of the people online personally know you and take to bashing you on the internet; you are the toxic one! And that’s the last straw. You start packing your shit up into bags and whatever boxes you can find. A large amount of your belongings have migrated to Daniel’s apartment, even if you don’t officially live with him. You’ve been dating him for just over six months, and the entire time your relationship has been public his fans have harassed you.

They prefer his ex over you, it’s that simple. It probably doesn’t help that you’re not like one of the white models everybody thinks f1 drivers should date, but enough is enough. It didn’t bother you at first, you thought with just a little time everyone would calm down but the opposite has happened. They’ve only gotten worse and things have escalated to the point where it’s affecting your career and—you can’t take it anymore. And, maybe they’re right. Daniel doesn’t deserve to date a girl who can’t take the harsh eye of the media and fans. He’d be better off without you, and he might certainly be better off with his ex. She was there in his darkest times and his brightest successes. They ended on good terms so with a little charm, Daniel wouldn’t have a problem with getting back with her, surely. 

You’re throwing your bags on the living room couch, pulling a suitcase you left here from when you last traveled with him to throw your shoes into. And then, you hear the door open. 

Daniel’s happy voice carries to you from the entryway, “Baby, I’m home! I stopped at the store to pick up a slice of your favorite cake, because I know you’ve been needing some cheering up—”

You hear his steps halt as he sees you in the living room, bags and boxes filled to the brim with your stuff. 

“Baby?” Daniel asks, “What’s this about? This is late for it to be spring cleaning.”

You shake your head, swallowing softly as you turn to meet his eyes, “I’m leaving, Daniel.”

“What?” Daniel says confused.

“Don’t make it any more difficult than it needs to be,” you start, unable to fight back your tears any longer, “Just let me get my stuff and leave.”

Daniel rushes to you, pulling you to look at him, holding your arms still when you try to push him away from you.

“You’ve got to give me more than that. You’re leaving—why? Is it something I did? Did I say something? How long have you felt like this? I could’ve—I can fix it, baby. Don’t leave me,” Daniel pleads, his own eyes radiating how hurt, confused, and disbelieving he feels, “I thought we were strong? We’re the closest to being perfect, I thought. We barely argue; and even when we do it’s resolved properly. I don’t yell, I don’t talk to other women, I don’t ignore your calls or messages, I’m not possessive, I’m not crazy–what can I do? For you to stay, what can I do?”

“Nothing, Daniel. You can’t change my mind. But—it’s not your fault, okay? It’s me,” you cry harder when Daniel scoffs at your response, “I’m serious, Danny. It’s my fault.  I can’t take it anymore okay? You’re better off without me; I’m a distraction, I’m not as supportive as I should be, I’m not your type–you’d just perform and be happier without me, okay?”

“Fuck no,” Daniel emphasizes, “Who the hell is telling you that? Because I know you seriously don’t believe that. You’re the best thing to happen to me in my entire life, baby. You’re not a distraction, you support me tirelessly, and you sure as hell are my type. I can’t keep my hands off of you, you scold me all the time for that so, how can you say that ‘you’re not my type?’ I’m the happiest I’ve ever been with you, ask anybody, baby.”

You groan angrily, “Not anybody! Have you asked your fucking fans? They sure as hell think that I’m the devil reincarnated. I can’t do anything publicly without being verbally harassed for it. I can’t dress the way I want to, I can’t act the way I want to, and I can’t even go to work! Your little fangirls are affecting my career—and I can’t do it anymore. They’ve won. I can’t take the judgment anymore, not for me just existing. You’d be happier with your ex, just like they want you to be.”

You and Daniel stare at each other silently, the air tense. 

“What do you mean,” Daniel pauses, his jaw tightening, “What do you mean they’re affecting your career?”

“They’re threatening to fire me because of my image. They’re saying I’m smearing the company's appearance,” you sigh out, picking at your cuticles anxiously. Daniel grabs your hands, stopping you.

“I’m going to kill them, baby–”

“Daniel!” you cut him off, aghast.

“No, I don’t care,” He dismisses, “The nerve of them to convince you that you’re not good enough for me. I should’ve kept asking you if you were bothered by the negative attention, but ever since you told me that you could handle it, I never checked in. And, I failed to see that it was getting worse. Worse enough to make you think that you need to leave to escape it. I’m going to embarrass those fans publicly and I’m going to get the team to back me up. As far as your job, I always hated them anyway. I never liked how they would deny your vacation time even though you had the days—you should quit.”

You stare at him deadpan, “Daniel Ricciardo. I’m not quitting my job and I am also still leaving.”

“Mhm, no,” Daniel scoffs hysterically, “You’re not breaking up with me. And, you would have a better reason to quit, if you stayed with me. I’ll retire you and make you my trophy wife, please.  Seriously, babe. Don’t leave. I should’ve dealt with the fans earlier, I know—it’s my fault that it even reached this point. Please, just stay with me.”

“I don’t know,” you murmur, crumbling into tears again, “They all seem to think your ex is a better fit and���I think I agree with them.”

Daniel gathers you into his arms, tucking you into his shoulder, “Baby, I broke up with her for a reason. And, I’m glad I did. All of those chronically online fans have no clue about why I broke up with her. I couldn’t imagine going back into that relationship, especially now that I’ve found you. Let me prove it to you, baby.

You sob, “How are you going to prove anything to me right now? Can I just be dramatic for a little longer?”

He laughs, giddy at the sound of your usual antics, “Well, I am going to set the media on fire with the language I use to address how the world has been disrespecting you. But first, I’m going to take you to bed and remind you what you’d be missing out on if you left. What other man could learn to know you as intimately as I do, hm? C’mon, baby—let me prove it to you. Let your body decide.”

Leaning back to look at him through your tears,  you think,  fuck it, why not?

Daniel presses you into the bed; you whine out desperately when he breaks the kiss, your eyes focused on the plush warmth of his lips as you try to chase them. The eagerness of your actions only dawns on you as you see his lips shift into a smiling laugh then, the embarrassment washes over you; honestly, you think, you can’t act like you can’t live without having his lips touching yours—he might find your yearning repulsive. Did his ex act like this for him? What if that’s why he broke up with her—

“Heyheyhey—don’t hide from me, baby,” Daniel coos concerned, his hand gently coaxing you to turn your head and meet his eyes, you didn’t even notice when you moved to hide your face with the pillow; he continues, “Where’d you go just then, pretty girl? Please tell me, baby, don’t hold it in.”

You meet his troubled gaze, and the love and care you see pouring out causes fresh tears to dance across your waterline. Through your blurry sight, you see Daniel’s brow furrow saddeningly as he carefully pulls you up into a sitting position and holds you tightly as you cry into his shoulder. His left hand massages the back of your neck, and his right hand finds a calming rhythm as he rubs your back. Your tears taper out quicker, and you wonder if you’ve exhausted their supply from the crying you’ve done today.

You draw back from his embrace, wiping your cheeks with the back of your hand, and your voice shakes and cracks as you begin to speak, “I’ve never been this insecure about myself. I couldn’t give a single fuck about what people say or think about me. But, today? It was just too much, Danny. Seeing all of your fans tear down every aspect of me; my personality, my looks, my body—why? And, they’re doing it under the reasoning that, I’m not good for you. Like, you’re not a grown man, who can decide who he wants to date? I support you quietly and loudly and’ll do it forever, but that’s not enough for them. And, today, it felt like it would  never be enough.

“So, when I saw them making signs, t-to…to encourage you to break up with me,” Daniel muffles a sound of hurt in his chest, “I was humiliated. I-I, didn’t want that sort of attention for you, they should be focused on your racing, not your undeserving girlfriend. And, I thought I’d make it easy for you and leave.”

“Baby, no…”

“You’re such a good boyfriend, Daniel. It would be so much easier for you to end this relationship and go back to your ex, or date some other girl that satisfies you and your fans—”

“Babe, no,” Daniel cuts you off, his tone hardened, “The only person that needs to be satisfied with you is me. And, I am. The opinions of those fucking idiots don’t matter to me, and they shouldn’t matter to you. Because that’s all they are: opinions, and they’re absolutely stupid opinions, at that. They’re comments have done the complete opposite of convincing me to leave you. They’ve shown me that I need to let you know how much I want you with me—they’ve made me realize that I need to let you know that I love you.”

Your eyes widen, your breath stuttering. It’s the first time, he’s said it.  Daniel loves you.

Sobbing softly, you murmur, “I hope you’re not only saying those three words because you think it’s going to make me happy. Because, I do love you, too.”

Daniel laughs wetly. “I’m saying that I love you now because you need to know that. I would’ve preferred to say it under different circumstances but, it doesn’t change the fact that I’m ridiculously in love with you. And—fuck everybody who’s saying you’re not good enough for me. If anything, I’m not good enough for you. I haven’t even won you a trophy, yet.”

You stare at him in disbelief, “Shut the fuck up. You’re everything to me. You could be driving the slowest car on the grid and I would still be celebrating your last-place finishes like you’ve won the championship.”

Daniel stares at you silently and you nearly fear that you’ve broken him. He sighs out lovingly before, leaning down and pressing kisses across your entire face to wash away your tear tracks. He finishes with a barely there kiss to the tip of your nose and asks quietly, “Let me show you that I love you. I don’t think saying it is enough.”

You look at him. You find what you’re looking for because you agree, “Okay.”

Daniel perks up, “Okay?”

You nod, slowly sliding down to rest on your back against the bed like you were before. “Yes.”

Your boyfriend shifts to kneel in between your legs, his hands slipping beneath the hem of your sweater, and once he gets confirmation from you, he smoothly pulls it off of you, dropping it off the bedside. His hands spread across the expanse of your abdomen and move to rest on your waist as he buries himself in the length of your neck. He nips kisses and presses of tongue along your brown skin, surprising you often with the ache of teeth and suction to bloom bruises. When he slides downwards, he paints your collarbone and decolletage loosely, the irritated flesh only sends flares of pleasure across your nerves. Daniel huffs in frustration as the straps of your bra disrupt the smooth skin across your shoulders, and he pulls you upwards to arch into him as he slips his hand underneath to unclasp the closure. You’re brain comes online to help him remove the offending fabric as you shrug out of the straps and desperately fling the bra to a corner of the room you can’t care to look at.

Daniel hums thankfully and resumes tracing along your shoulder, down your arms, and to the bones of your wrists and tips of your fingers with gentle hands followed by his lips. 

He swallows before speaking, “Whenever you’re splayed out so prettily underneath me, I forget how to act. The cloudy look in your eyes, your chest covered with my love, the muscles in your shoulders and arms relaxed and syrupy—so fuckin’ sexy, baby.”

You can’t find the words to respond to him because your entire body sings out when Daniel’s lips suction around your nipple. You feel his tongue swirl around, wetting it before his teeth join in and scrape softly against the sensitive bud. He releases you and even though your eyelids have fluttered shut at the feeling, you feel him watching you as your back rises off the bed and your head falls back. His hand finds its place right underneath your breasts, and he pushes you back down into the mattress and holds you there as he continues the assault of his lips on your chest. You can only cry out with every tug of his teeth, every suckle of his lips on the surrounding skin, whimpers choked down as his mouth ravages you entirely. Your hand flies to Daniel’s hair for purchase, and to press his head further into your chest, but he pulls away.

“Forgive me—but I love your chest, baby. I love how you let me take naps on them and play with my hair, I love the feeling of them in my hand, I love making you scream every time I play with them. And, you taught me that the only answer to ass versus boobs is both of them. Because, I would willingly suffocate in either of them, and all of you.”

Your chest heaves as you try to regain some air in your lungs, but Daniel doesn’t let you breathe for a second, “One day, I hope you let me fuck your pretty chest.”

Your mouth drops open, as you flounder for the air and words required to respond to his statement.

“Another time, though. May I take off your pants, baby? I  need to fuck you.”

“Yesyes—please, hurry up,” you rush out, already moving to shimmy out of your bottoms, Daniel tugging them off roughly when they get caught around your ankles. The strength he uses slides you down the bed a little, and you can’t help but muffle a gasp underneath your hand. 

He pulls your hand from your mouth in an instant, “No. Not tonight. I let you get away with hiding your sounds from me before, but I need to know how good I’m making you feel,” he pauses to press a kiss to the inside of your wrist and continues, “Be as loud as you want, love.”

You nod jerkily, and Daniel lowers your arm to rest against the bed carefully, before he shuffles down the bed, resting on his stomach and spreading your legs to drape along his shoulders. He starts with your right leg; nipping at the bone of your ankle before following with a soothing touch of his lips, and moving upwards, biting and kissing along the muscles of your calf, the inside of your knee. He slows when he reaches the plush meet of your thigh, taking his time biting the muscle and laving over the teeth marks he leaves with his tongue. He repeats the treatment along your left leg, ignoring how he can see the wetness dripping out of you, darkening the fabric of your panties. 

“Love your legs, baby,” Daniel breaths shakily, “Calves, and thighs, muscle, and all plush skin. If I could choose how to go out, it would be in between them. Doesn’t matter if they’re around my waist, or my head—it’s fucking paradise, baby.”

Your thighs shudder as if they’ve heard his words, and Daniel notices immediately. His hands move to grasp them and let his thumbs dig into the fresh marks he’s added against your brown skin. You keen airily, your thighs attempting to shut, but Daniel’s hands keep you spread with little effort. He leans down and hides his smile by pressing his mouth to your panties. He proceeds to noisily kiss along your covered cunt, dragging his tongue and nose through the soaked fabric, humming amusedly when your hips buck down onto him, one of his hands shifting to press your pelvis to the mattress.

You’re mortified. Daniel’s pretty much making out with your cunt over your panties, and he seems to be enjoying it as much as you if the way his hips are rocking along the bed is any telling when you raise your head to stare down at him. His eyes shut as he loses himself between your legs; he looks blissed out and you drop your head back against the mattress, bringing your hand to tangle in the mess of his curls. He pulls away with a grunt and you tug at his hair annoyed, sitting up slightly to see what he stopped for—

His eyes are wild, drenched with lust. Daniel doesn’t waste time pulling your panties off, roughly tugging the fabric covering your cunt to the side, tucking it in the dip between your groin and thigh. You see his eyes roll back slightly at the sight of you before he shuts them and dives forward to bring his mouth down on your cunt. His tongue pushes inside of you sloppily and his nose makes sure your clit is always receiving attention. The only option you have is to choke on your moans and grasp for stability in his hair and the sheets of the bed. Your tummy undulates at the pleasure racketing up your spinal cord, it’s too much to process already. And in a split-second, Daniel’s tongue is exchanged for two of his fingers, your cunt thoroughly soaked with a mix of your wetness and his spit, and the stretch is mild, more of a welcomed soreness than pain. Daniel’s eyes open to watch your face closely, you’re too busy moaning to verbally assure him to continue, but he understands (the continuous desperate roll of your hips against his grasp is a helpful clue). 

He massages his fingers into you rapidly, brushing along the sensitive wall along the top of your cunt—and it dawns on you very quickly that you are going to cum. He must see the realization wash over your face, or through the signs of your body, but he avoids your g-spot to scissor his fingers inside of you to stretch you out, a third joining the rest when you huff down at him angrily. The new stretch quiets you, loud whines and moans hushed for a moment as you savor the ache. Yet, you quickly hunger for more, unapproving of the sudden gentleness Daniel exhibits.

“Danny, please,” you cry, “C’mon—fuck me, already. ‘m gonna cum.”

He pulls his fingers from the grasp of your vagina and manhandles you onto your front, stomach flat against the bed. With firm hands, he pulls your hips upwards, one hand sliding down your back to deepen the arch and push your ass further out. The insecurity and shyness you had earlier have dissipated; you’d like to be fucked, now. You spread your knees wider and rock back even more.

“Fuck,” Daniel croaks out, and he rushes to grab a condom from the nightstand. You’re sure he’s relatively quick about the entire ordeal; of losing his pants, grabbing the condom, and rolling it on himself, but it feels like ages, and you can’t help but huff out angrily. Thankfully, you feel his left hand come back to rest on your ass and feel the head of his cock tap along your cunt. 

Your hole parts for him prettily and Daniel sinks in smoothly, not stopping until your ass meets his hips. You whine softly, the ache of him finding a home within you will never lose its luster. Daniel shudders behind you, the grip of his hand on your ass shaking—his breathing heavy as it echoes around the room. 

“Fuck,” Daniel moans again, “Love your cunt, pretty girl. Hot, wet, and tight,” he falls forward, and nuzzles into the hair at the nape of your neck, before pressing a kiss at the back of your neck, and rising again, “‘s so good…I-I can’t find the words right now.”

You giggle softly into the bed and Daniel takes the green light when you press back against him. He begins to thrust into you, hard enough to punch the breath out of your lungs. He’s never fucked you this forcefully before; his motions are erratic, yet somehow he’s nailing the spot inside of you with every other pass of his hips. The sound of your skin meeting manages to be hidden by the screams and moans you manage to release when you find enough air in your lungs. Daniel’s other hand wraps around your front and presses down on your pelvis, tightening your inner walls. And, your vision whites out.

Your legs give out and you feel yourself slouch into the mattress, but Daniel is quick to hold your hips up for you and continues to rail into you, not allowing you any respite. You can hear yourself babbling, but you can’t make out what you’re saying. The heat of Daniel’s chest radiates over your back and you feel his breath wash over your spine, his endearments and praise you hear but can’t understand as the pleasure has blinded your senses. What you can feel, is how his thrusts continue and don’t slow. 

You regain control of your body when he rotates you onto your back, he only pulls out briefly while he grabs a pillow to shove underneath your hips before he falls back inside of you. At this angle, Daniel feels larger than life, knocking against buttons inside of you you’re sure he’s only ever discovered. It’s too much. He fucks into you slowly, the press of his cock slow but strong, the motion pushing you up the bed slightly.

You gasp, moans erupting out of you when you attempt to speak. You manage to keep your eyes open long enough to look at Daniel and see the pleased smile on his face. He moves one hand from your hip to cradle your cheek and swipes a tear that escaped from the corner of your eye away. 

“Oh,” Daniel hushes you softly, “Gone for me already, aren’t you?”

“T-t-oo much,” you stutter, tongue feeling heavy in your mouth, “ feels s’good.”

He chuckles quietly, the noise fading into a moan as your cunt clenches around him, “Too much or it feels good, pretty girl? You’re going to have to pick one.”

Daniel’s thrusts get rougher, and he stops pulling out nearly all the way and focuses on digging into you deeper; making sure to drag himself along that place inside you with every thrust. Your scream breaks as soon as it leaves your mouth, the unyielding stimulation feels white hot. You take a shaky hand and drag it down Daniel’s chest, from his tattoos to his abdomen, and push against him while simultaneously trying to raise your hips away from his.

“No, baby,” Daniel coos down at you, knocking your hand away from his abs, and continuing to press inside of you, pulling your hips down, “Don’t run from me. Take it. You know what to say if it’s too much for you.”

You do know what to say. But, the knot inside your tummy starts tightening again, and the overwhelming amount of pleasure isn’t too much. You can take it. Daniel rocks down to kiss you, but you’re too out of it to exactly figure out how to make your lips work, and his eyes shine. He moves to bite at your neck, you feel him speaking against your skin and it takes a few listens to realize he saying, “I love you,” over and over again. His thrusts get choppier and you know he’s close when his hand slips down to play with your clit. This orgasm feels different than the first. It feels like it burns your nerve endings with just how powerfully pleasurable it is. You can vaguely feel Daniel collapse against you as he rides out his climax, but you’re more concerned with the absolute ecstasy you find yourself floating in.

You blink a few times and you fail to adequately process what’s going on around you. You feel Daniel pull out of you, rubbing soothingly along your hips and thighs as he massages any soreness away. You can’t make out his words, but they sound warm and loving making you feel light and fluffy. You don’t recall him moving from the bed, but he suddenly has a warm rag pressed against your inner thighs to clean you up, and your ruined panties are gone. When he tries to wipe against your cunt, you slam your legs shut, jerking away from him. He doesn’t force your legs back open, but he eventually manages to clean up enough of your wetness that he’s comfortable to wait until you’re clear-minded. 

Daniel pulls you onto his lap and continues murmuring words of affection into the air, you feel them vibrate through his chest. You begin to rise out of whatever state you were in and shift in his lap, “Danny,” you try to speak, but your voice cracks roughly. He’s quick to grab a bottle of water on the nightstand and opens it for you, helping you drink as your arms are still too shaky. 

“When did you grab the water?” you question softly, you down nearly the entire bottle, and move to snuggle back into his chest, bringing your shaky hand up to trace his tattoos. 

“You don’t remember?” Daniel questions calmly, watching as you shake your head in dissent, “I think you were a little out of it after that orgasm. You melted into the bed—I couldn’t get you to say anything.”

“Oh,” you offer, looking up at him to read his face. You find nothing but love, so you figure it can’t be a bad thing.

“Do you know what subspace is?”

“No?”

Daniel nods understandingly and changes the subject, “I got this piece of cake for you earlier at the store. Can you eat it for me now and drink a little more water, baby? I’ll put on that crime show you like too.”

You agree to eat and drink as long as Daniel does too. Your hand shakes as you try to bring the fork to your mouth so you let Daniel feed you, he seems more than happy to do it for you. You kind of like it anyway, him taking care of you. You feel like your normal self halfway through the second episode of the show playing on the TV. You slide off of Daniel’s lap to sit beside him and focus on the show, pulling the blanket up to cover your legs, the plot of the show finally being processed by your brain.

“I’m going to go grab something from the living room, okay?” Daniel checks in on you, waiting for you to answer affirmatively, “Finish up that cake for me, love.”

You hum, grabbing the container from him and continuing to munch along as Daniel does what he needs to. He reenters the room with one of the boxes you had packed away. Daniel doesn’t look at you, he just opens up the box and starts putting all your belongings back to where they used to be. He pulls one of your heavier sweaters out of the box and moves to hang it up in the closet.

“No,” you say, voice scratchy. You watch Daniel turn to face you slowly like he thinks you’re going to tell him that you’re still leaving, 

“That sweater doesn’t belong in the closet. It gets folded and placed in the bottom row of the dresser.”

Daniel sighs relieved and smiles at you, “Okay. What about this one too, where does that go?”

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© httpsserene 2023

[skibasyndrome]

Wilmon + "please I need you inside me"

cw: this is... definitely nsfw, a lil bit angsty... messy exes reunited at a party?

ALSO: the word count on this bad boy got... completely out of hand (EDIT: that's why this is also available on ao3 now)

"Please, I need you inside me." Simon's whispered confession hits Wille like a freight train. It's not what he expected him to say, not after everything, not after all this time, not after what he said last time. Not as his first full sentence towards Wille, after an awkward "hey" in front of Felice and Sara who are the only reason they even came to Maddie's party in the first place. Not after asking if Wille "has a minute" one and a half hours later.

It's all wrong and Wille is confused, so fucking confused and a little bit too tipsy to really connect the dots (have there been hints all evening? have there been signs he misread?). Instead of asking any of the millions of questions floating around his mind (Why do you want me now? Did you change your mind? What happened to the new guy? Why here?) he just stutters, unsure what to say, unsure what to do about the goosebumps mottling the skin of his neck, even moments after Simon has already pulled away again. "Simon, I don't..." (Why didn't you text? Why didn't you call?) Simon's expression twists painfully and Wille knows, oh god he knows what this sounds like and he needs to fix this. "I...," and the words still don't make their way out, so he reaches out, fingers grazing the inside of Simon's wrist, so soft and so smooth and so reminiscent of the times this was what they did. (Why did you push me away when this is what you want?) "We can't," Wille tries instead, desperate, breathless, feels his chest contract angrily, feels his resolve crumble with every passing second that he's skin to skin with Simon. Fingertips on the wrist are enough to set his skin on fire. Enough to bring him back to two years ago. (Why didn't you want me to fight harder?) "Is it because you don't want to?" Simon asks, voice gentle and careful and so painfully small - Wille hates when Simon feels like he needs to make his voice smaller - that the pang goes right to Wille's heart. (Why would you ever think I don't want you?) He shakes his head fervently, like he can shake off the hurt and the confusion and the incessantly rising heat of want that crawls up the inside of his throat. "No. God, no," he tries, feels and hears his voice break on the first no. (Did I not prove to you that you're all I ever want?) Simon's eyes meet his again, finally. Glistening even in the dim light of this hallway, and Wille wishes he could read him better, wishes there weren't two years of distance lodged in between them. Simon moves his arm and just as Wille is about to gasp at the prospect of losing him again he feels Simon's grip on his upper arm instead, firm and warm even through the thin fabric of his shirt. The breath gets stuck somewhere deep inside of Wille's rib cage. He doesn't dare make a single move while Simon tugs on his arm, places it around himself, takes another step towards Simon. (Why did I ever let you go?) The look in Simon's eyes is dangerous, is gnawing away at every bit of distance, at every wall that Wille has desperately tried to build up over these past years. Simon squeezes Wille's bicep, signaling him he can touch him back and- Fuck. And Wille does. Wille's hand still perfectly fits on top of Simon's hipbone. "If you still in any way want me..." (What the fuck did I do to make you think there'd ever be an 'if'?) "if this is still," and Simon is standing so close to him now that Wille thinks he must be feeling him. Must be feeling that Wille, despite himself and all that work he put into getting over Simon, very much fucking wants him. Now, always, probably for fucking ever. "If this is something you might want..." Simon presses against him now, hips against hips, and Wille wants to moan and cry and wrap him tightly in his arms because he can feel Simon again, too, here, close. Simon leans forward, lips moving towards Wille's ear. "Let me have this, Wille. If you still want this, let me have you."

Wille's moan is barely stifled when he feels the subtle movement of Simon against him, of Simon pressing into him, onto him, of Simon searching for contact and friction and more of Wille. "Not here," Wille tries, but he's already losing the battle and grinding his erection against Simon's, that quietly flickering flame he never quite managed to put out now stoked into a raging fire. "We don't have- and we're just-" And while he stammers away, while he digs his fingertips into Simon's side and relishes in the heady feeling of having him here again, he feels Simon slip something into his palm, a small bottle, familiar enough to make Wille's mind spin. (How did you-?) "I knew you'd be here," Simon confesses, unprompted. "I knew I'd see you." His lips leave burns in their wake as they brush down the side of Wille's jaw. Wille barely has control over his own hands, just barely registers that must be pulling Simon closer. And it seems like this breaks a dam inside of Simon. "Been thinking about you," he gasps out and Wille can feel his hands under his shirt now, digging nails into Wille's skin that remembers. "Been missing you," Simon admits, much more quietly, but before Wille has any chance - But why did you-? - Simon pushes on. "Missed feeling you... missed having you like this." And god, god, Wille is a broken man. He's never had a sense for when to stop, when to turn away from Simon before things become detrimental, and he's not about to now start acting like he has any control over his feelings towards this man. This man that ruined Wille for everyone forever. So of course Wille finds himself perched behind Simon in one of the seemingly countless storage rooms in Maddie's house, of course he's got Simon holding on to a shelf in front of him, with his pants bunched up around his knees, and of course he's back to opening Simon up for him, nice and slow and grabbing one of his ass cheeks, holding him open for a better view while he does it, because simply feeling him is not enough right now. Of course Simon is back to letting out those sounds that Wille has never stood a chance against, quiet hiccup-y moans that he draws out for a moment longer whenever Wille pulls out and gently eases his fingers back in, teasing. Simon feels just like Wille remembers, he moves just like Wille remembers, he lets out that same broken sound when Wille drops to his knees and asks if he can, please, if Simon is okay with it. He arches his back and pushes back against Wille's mouth, moans at every flick of his tongue, just like he's always done. The filthy string of profanities and desperate pleas falling from his mouth is just as enticing and encouraging as it's always been. The way Wille needs to hold Simon's hips in place, thumbs on his ass cheeks to help hold him open, the way Simon tastes, the way he grinds back and lets Wille fuck his tongue into him... It all hasn't changed one bit. Wille feels delirious, feels like he's stuck in one of those dreams that kept haunting him for weeks, months, after. He feels like he could risk waking up to his empty bed again if he pulls away to catch his breath. It still feels like a dream when he lines himself up with Simon's back, when he presses closer, not pushing in, just feeling the heat of Simon's body through his shirt, just relishing in the slick, hot tightness of being between Simon's thighs. It's so much, so fucking much that Wille needs a moment, that he needs to prepare for what he's sure will ruin him, that he needs to wait before entering him again.

"Are you okay?" Simon asks, breathing heavily and grinding back desperately, and it's almost like it used to be, almost as sweet and caring and devastatingly gentle as they used to be. Almost, because there's an edge of fear, of worry, of uncertainty. Wille nods, pressing his forehead against the soft wispy hairs at the back of Simon's neck. He's so okay. He's so much more than okay, feels so much better than he has months and that alone is absolutely fucking breaking him apart. "So okay," Wille gasps out, pulling back slightly to line himself up. He ignores the slight tremor in his hands, that anticipatory shiver of pleasure that courses through him. "So fucking okay," he moans when he slowly pushes in, sinks against Simon, slips back into that old, familiar, breathtaking sensation of connection and closeness, of soft, warm bliss. And Simon does it, too, moans, throws his head back, angles himself so that Wille can slide home, can claim this feeling for the two of them, finally again. Simon's affirmative hum travels through Wille's chest like the heavy bass on the dance floor did earlier, Simon's sweetly assertive command for "more, Wille" pierces him like a knife. But he can, he absolutely wants to give Simon more. He pulls back slightly, only to thrust into him again, giving more and deeper and harder, making Simon's breathing stutter, making the shelf that's bearing more of less all the force groan under the impact. Every bit of desperation, every yearning thought Wille has tried to neatly file away breaks lose in him, every single time he dreamt of this imagined just one more chance at this hits him at once. By the time he pulls back, words of warning on his lips, mumbled apologies for being so gone so quickly, for not making this last any longer falling into the sweat-heavy air around them, his eyes are burning, his throat closing up. It can't be over already, not again, not now, not ever. Simon's arm shoots behind him, grabbing onto Wille's ass, pulling him closer again, urging him back inside to the hilt. Wille's hips stutter and he gasps out another pleading warning, sure that he's going to fall any minute now, but Simon only digs his blunt fingernails into Wille's skin. "Stay," Simon presses out, so quietly that Wille barely hears it. But it's enough to make Wille press his eyes shut, go rigid against Simon's back. "Inside me, please," he adds, words so drawn out and voice so breathy that Wille can't help but moan in response. Simon needs him, is all Wille can think of when Simon grinds back against him, Simon needs to feel him again, he thinks, as he listens to Simon's staccato breaths and the sound of his slickened hand jerking himself off. It's all the way it used to be, it's like he was never gone, it's like they picked up where they left off, like it's them, together, against all odds again. It takes no more than a couple thrusts before Wille is coming, gasping into the sweaty hair in the back of Simon's neck, pressing closer, wrapping his arms tightly around Simon's chest and stomach, like that will keep him from ever leaving again. Wille is still panting, still shaking, when he feels Simon's come hit his arm, feels Simon go pliant in his arms. He doesn't ask why now, why after all this time, when Simon, hands still holding Wille against him, like he, too, is scared Wille will leave, pants out a quiet "thank you". Wille doesn't ask what this means, either. Doesn't ask what Simon now thinks of him, what Simon now wants to do. He doesn't, can't, get out a single question while he holds onto Simon and Simon holds onto him.

OOOF. I......... I guess that was the vibe when I sat down to write this today. Thank you so so much for sending in that prompt, dear anon! I hope you enjoyed it! 💜💜💜

Send me "Wilmon" + a sentence and I will write you 2k apparently another 5(+) sentences

[midnightsnyx]

girl at home | mat barzal | part 2

pairing: mat barzal x fem!reader summary: you’re eighteen when you find yourself pregnant after Mat leaves for hockey. nearly eight years later, Mat finds out about your daughter and you have to deal with the consequences of not telling him about her.

warnings: mentions of pregnancy, lil bit of angst with a sprinkle of fluff and not edited im sorry lol word count: 2.1k authors note: *screams internally* thank you guys so much for the love on this story so far. I was super hesitant to post it at first but I am glad you guys like it! I'm posting this a little early but updates will be every sunday from now on. This chapter is kinda sad but happy times are on the way <3 thanks for the feedback, and if you like part 2, let me know!

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Sitting across from Mat for the first time in almost eight years, doesn’t go exactly as planned. He’s waiting for you even though you arrive fifteen minutes before the agreed time, hoping to rid yourself of the anxiety you are feeling which means he’s been here even longer. So you wipe your sweaty palms on your jeans and stride over to where he’s waiting and sit on the chair across from him. He’s staring at his phone so his head jerks up when he hears you.

The first words that come out of his mouth are: “are you sure she’s mine?”

Which, okay, that’s a fair question because you did tell everybody and their grandmother who asked that Mat was not the one who knocked you up. Of course, nobody actually believed you but there were a few people from your high school that believed it. Most girls who had always had a crush on Mat, would say that you cheated on him and obviously Nora couldn’t be his child because for some reason, they never actually accepted that you and Mat were a couple. 

So yeah, his question is fair and you did know he would ask. 

“Yeah, we can do a paternity test if you don’t believe me,” you say quietly. It’s not something you necessarily want to do, because then you’d have to come up with some reason to tell Nora why she needs to go get her cheek swabbed or blood tested. She’s as stubborn as Mat, and you would probably have to hold her down to get whatever the doctors needed unless she agreed. 

“No, I believe you.” 

His words take a huge weight off your shoulders but also replace it with a new one. You know Mat, he’s the kindest soul and has the biggest heart and he’s going to want to at least properly meet Nora and might ask to be in her life. In the first few years of her life, there wouldn’t have been anything you wanted more in the world. However, you’ve grown now and so has she. Your number one priority has to be what is best for Nora, and turning her life upside by introducing her to Mat is scary. For both you and her. 

And Mat? Despite what he might think, he’s nowhere near prepared to jump into being her dad.

“Can I ask you something?” he says, pulling you from your spiraling thoughts. 

“Sure,” you say even though you know what he’s going to ask. It’s a question you’re nowhere near ready to answer but you have no choice now.

“Why? Why didn’t you tell me about her?”

He doesn’t sound as angry as you were expecting, maybe thanks to his dad talking to him but there’s underlying hurt. You try to put yourself in his shoes, trying to think if there was anything in the world that would have stopped you from wanting Nora. You know for a fact that if Mat knew, he would have been in her life somehow but you’re not sure if he would have given up the NHL to do it, and that’s exactly why you didn’t tell him.

“I didn’t want to hold you back,” you say softly, watching his facial expression change. He just looked confused before but now he looks sad almost. His eyes close for a moment and when he opens them, you feel like you’ve been punched in the stomach. 

“I thought you knew me better than that.”

“I did! I do,” you argue. “If you knew about her, it would have kept you away from everything you worked hard for. Your dream was the NHL, Mat. If I told you about her, it would’ve crushed that dream. We didn’t want to hold you back.”

“Yeah,” he scoffs. “Who’s we? You and my parents? You shouldn’t have made that choice for me, it wasn’t right.”

“This is a child we’re talking about Mat. Were you really ready at eighteen to drop everything and raise one?” 

“Were you?”

“No,” you say truthfully. “But I didn’t have a jersey with my name on the back waiting for me.”

He doesn’t say anything and for a moment, it’s silent between the two of you with background chatter from the cafe. You’re sure that he’s just going to get up and storm out but he takes a deep breath and slowly exhales, knotting his fingers together.

“I wish you’d told me,” he mumbles before looking up at you. “I would’ve stayed.”

“I know,” you whisper but you can’t meet his gaze.

. . .

You’re picking Nora up from her day camp a couple of days later when you get a message from Mat asking if he can meet up with you. There’s been no contact since the two of you last met, having left with a short goodbye to pick up Nora. He hadn’t asked to see her and you hadn’t offered so you thought maybe he would leave it but you should’ve known better.

You fire off a sure, see you in twenty, and debate on whether to bring Nora with you or drop her off with your mom. Mat might not even want to see her, but if he’s reaching out to you again it’s probably about her. 

“Wanna go meet my friend?” you ask, looking back at her to gauge her reaction. She might just want to go home after all day at camp, but she perks up immediately when you ask.

“The one from the grocery store?” she squeals but narrows her eyes and gives you a suspicious look. “Hey, I thought you said he was a stranger.”

Shoot.

“Well, he was to you,” you try to explain. “I knew him when I was younger.”

“As young as me?”

“As young as you,” you tell her and she grins, nodding her head and shouting an excited yes, so you pull out of the parking-lot and start towards Mat’s parents house. You’re a little nervous to be around his family after dancing around them for so long after Nora was born. Meeting up with Liana wasn’t as hard as you were expecting, but you’re not so sure about his parents. Aside from the occasional awkward greeting, you haven’t properly spoken to them since before Nora and you’re starting to think maybe bringing her will just make things worse but before you can change your mind, you’re parking your car in the driveway. 

He’s sitting outside on the porch swing when you step out, and his eyes widen in surprise when Nora climbs out of the car. He definitely wasn’t expecting you to bring her but this could be a good test. If he decides he wants to be part of her life, having all their interactions scheduled wouldn’t be a good start so you decide to just jump in the deep end.

“Hey,” you call out before grabbing Nora’s hand and making your way towards him. He’s already making his way down the pathway and meets you about half way, pulling you into a surprising hug before crouching down to Nora’s level.

“Hey Nora,” he says, smiling gently and offering her his hand to shake just like last time. “Do you remember me?”

She bobs her head once, accepting his hand but tries to hide her face in your leg. Of course now, she’s practicing Stranger Danger, instead of blurting out her full name. 

“Mom made dinner, if you guys are hungry?” 

Family dinner is just about the last thing you want to do but Nora perks up at the idea of food so you agree, following Mat into the all too familiar home you spent so much time in as a kid. Not much has changed, you realize as you look around the foyer. It feels a bit like coming home but you’re not sure if you were missed. 

“Smells good,” you say, trying to make conversation and Mat smiles awkwardly. 

“Yeah, mom is making your favorite.” 

How she can remember your favorite meal is beyond you, but you’re not about to miss a peace offering and this is certainly one.

“My favorite food is spaghetti,” Nora informs him and you watch Mat nod seriously, taking in anything she says. You try not to look too deep into it because even though he knows she’s biologically his, Nora is still just a cute kid talking a mile a minute about anything and Mat has probably been trained on how to handle excited children. 

When the three of you make your way to the living room, with Nora still chatting excitedly, you stop short when you see a picture frame on the wall. 

It’s you. Well, it’s you and Mat at graduation. Arms wrapped around each other and Mat kissing your forehead. If you look close enough, you can see past your smile and see the sadness in your eyes. This was before you were pregnant but you were already grieving the loss of Mat. He left for hockey shortly after and your only reminder was the brown haired little girl still talking to Mat. 

“Is that you, mama?” Nora asks suddenly, standing on the tips of her toes so she can get a better view. Her nose scrunches up and she looks at the photo, then Mat, and then the photo again.

“Oh,” she says and you sigh. 

“Let’s go see Mat’s parents.”

Nadia and Mike are waiting in the kitchen, trying to make it seem like they weren’t listening in on the conversation. Liana is sitting at the table, reading a book casually but you know she was probably listening too.

“This is Mike, Nadia, and Liana,” you tell Nora who lights up at Nadia’s name.

“My middle name is Nadia!” She squeals and you stare at the floor, not wanting to meet any of their eyes. Someone - probably Nadia - inhales sharply and then lets out what sounds like a sob. 

“That’s a beautiful name,” Liana says and you look up to see her looking at Nora with a soft smile on her face. Mike has an arm wrapped around Nadia who’s trying, and failing, to hide tears. You’re glad Liana is trying to distract Nora because you’re about two seconds away from crying and Mat must be able to tell because you feel his hand lightly touch your back. His hand lingers for a moment until you take a deep breath and blow it out steadily. 

Then his hand is gone and you feel the loss right away.

“Hey, we have a swing outside in the backyard,” Mat tells Nora. “Wanna go check it out while dinner finishes cooking?” 

He looks at you for permission so you nod, smiling at Nora when he takes her hand and leads her outside. Liana follows shortly after and then it’s just you, Nadia and Mike. Both their eyes are red rimmed and Nadia only hesitates for a moment before striding over and pulling you into a tight hug. 

“Thank you, my girl,” she whispers and all you can manage is a nod because you’ll probably cry now if you try to talk. The two of you just stand there for a couple minutes until Mike chuckles. You pull away, wiping your eyes to see him standing in front of the patio door so you make your way over to see what he’s looking at and almost start crying again. 

Mat and Nora are playing what looks like a game of tag, Liana laughing at them while trying to film. It’s exactly the kind of thing you had sometimes allowed yourself to imagine.

“Would you look at that,” Mike says softly. 

“He’s a natural,” Nadia agrees. “Always was.”

Then she turns to you with a small smile on her face. “I know the struggles of being a mom. You have to do what’s best for your kids…” she hesitates, gazing outside before looking back at you. “He wants to try, if you’ll give him the chance. We’d all love to get to know Nora.”

You would love nothing more than to have Mat’s family in Nora’s life. For her to get to know her other grandparents but you can’t help but be scared of what could happen if you let Mat into her life. She could get attached only to have him ripped away when he has to go back to New York but you can’t have Nora in Nadia, Mike, and Liana’s life and not Mat’s. 

But maybe you owe it to Mat, to give him a chance at having a place in her life after not telling him about her all this time. You were doing what you thought was right - what was right - but if Mat really wants to be part of her life, maybe it’s time. 

You look outside and see Nora on Mat’s shoulders with Liana chasing them, before looking back at the woman in front of you and smiling softly.

“I think Nora would love that.”

tag list: @dasiysthings

[theupsideofyou]

Poolverine Fic Recs <3

Find more at @poolverineficrecs

I wanted to make a lil list of my favourite poolverine/deadclaws fics because I am losing track of my faves so I thought I could do it as a rec post!

I will be adding as I read. I have added a star next to my faves ⭐️

Any fics with the ufo emoji are new fics to the list 🛸 If you want me to add any descriptions/warnings let me know Reblogs are always appreciated and please give me recs if you have them <3

luv ya!

One-shots

Will We Ever Learn? We’ve Been Here Before by ClowninAround

Gen 2k Origins!Poolverine

lithium by mikaminato

Mature 8k

The Language of Love by walkinginthewlnd

Teen 4k

⭐️ You Should Feel My Nature Too by sterlingstars

Explicit 10k PWP dancer!wade has my heart

⭐️I Knew You In Another Life. You Had That Same Look In Your Eyes. by Blondefir98

Mature 6k Origins!Poolverine

Soon to Be by mikaminato

Explicit 7k PWP

(despite my better efforts, it's) all for you by Edgebug

Explicit 3k

When The Drunks Start Singing by capitalismwasamistake

Explicit 27k DDDNE

Make You Mine by woof_verine

Explicit 8k PWP

⭐️ Save Me (Or Five Times Logan Needed Wade’s Help And The One Time He Just Needed Wade) by Curupia

Teen 4k

listen for heaven by nicodiangelol

Explicit 8k

We Should Just Kiss (Like Real People Do) by afterhoursnika

Teen 8k

Completed works

An ear to listen, a heart to understand by Dtown_mp3

Gen 15k No powers AU.

We Could Just Kiss (like real people do) by LadyMidnight24

Mature 11k

⭐️ In Another Life by Flash_Bastard

Explicit 29k Origins!Poolverine this fic broke my heart it's my fave ever!!

⭐️The Canadian Lynx in Your Living Room by Bunaomi

Explicit 72k

⭐️Guess by handfulofteeth (s0norus)

Explicit 16k

Rocky(ies) Honeymoon by LaReineDuLune

Mature 11k

Adrenaline and Adamantium by RaysOccultBoobs

Explicit 15k

All I Want For Christmas is You (Deadpool Edition) by jenniferlawrencelover

Explicit 52k

happiness (like a bullet in the back) by handfulofteeth (s0norus)

Explicit 15k

⭐️🛸 second nature to me by now by Edgebug

Explicit 36k

WIPs

⭐️(Ultraviolence) by uncle_swag

Explicit 22k 5/6 chapters No Powers AU Stripper!Wade

black irises in the sunshine by handfulofteeth (s0norus)

Explicit 10k 3/4 chapters

Kaleidoscope by Space_wanderer

Explicit 62k 12/14 chapters

Love shot by lillygoeson

Explicit 18k 4/6 Chapters No powers AU

Until you get sick of me, honestly by 3koboldsinahoodie

Explicit 75k 16/?

If you have written any of these works and want me to remove them from this post just let me know <3

[ramp-it-up]

Paring: Ransom Drysdale x Reader (Minx Drysdale)

Word Count: a little over 1K

Summary: Ransom helps your anxiety.

Warnings: 18+ As always, MINORS DNI, SMUT, RPF. Not Beta’d. All mistakes my own. Mentions of anxiety, nervousness, restless sleep. Soft Ransom, sleepy sex, manual sex, nipple play, overstimulation, squirting, oral sex, p-in-v, a lil' dumbification kink, good girl kink, degradation kink, dirty talk, breeding kink.

A/N: This is for #KinktoberMaybe and may or may not be based on some things that may or may not have happened in real life. Part of the Minx Series.

I no longer operate a taglist. Follow @rampitupandread to be notified when I post.

I Do NOT consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.

"You Up?"

You rolled over and looked Ransom in his sky blue eyes. Maybe you’d dreamt him asking you that. It made you remember the days when he would text you begging to come over at 2 am.

After he’d just left you at midnight.

“Mornin’ Ran.”

Ransom leaned up on his elbow and so he could see you better. You’d been sleeping restlessly, making a 180 degree turn with your head ending up at the foot of the bed.

You'd been ball of anxiety lately, working on the final edits of your book and more than a little nervous about your debut novel, despite the encouragement Ransom and Walter gave you. Ransom had even said it was the most brilliant thing he’d read in a while. That was high praise coming from him.

Caring for an active toddler and trying to make sure that you didn’t neglect Ransom were forefront in your mind as well. You were exhausted from what seemed a million things at once and had fallen into bed late the night before.

“You sure you’re awake?”

He did ask you that. You smiled at your husband and nodded.

“Yes. I’m sure.”

“Good. C’mere. Wanna make you cum.”

Your giggle caught in your throat as you saw he was serious. You just hummed as you moved into his outstretched arms and grabby hands.

“Ran?”

You had no doubt about his desire for you, but this was new.

Ransom pulled down your panties and lifted your tank top up to your chin. He pulled you close and hooked his leg over yours, opening you up to the cool air of the room.

“Been thinking about this all night when you were tossing and turning. You need something to calm you the fuck down.”

You gasped as Ransom moved his fingers into your mouth.

“Be a good fucking girl and get ‘em wet for me, Minx.”

“Hmmmm? Ummmhmmm.”

You nodded as your eyes rolled back into your head. Your anxiety started slipping away as Ransom whispered sweet nasty words in your ear.

“I’m gonna play with this sweet, sloppy cunt until you cum a couple of times in my arms. I’m gonna hold you down and make you take it while I watch that perfect slutty face of yours as you take what I do to you.”

Ransom was already playing with one nipple with the hand that was around you and grasping you close to him; as he withdrew his fingers from your mouth, a trail of saliva filled the path of his fingers down your neck and to the other as he twisted your nipples in tandem. You moaned at the disparate sensations from wet and dry fingers, wiggling in his grasp.

“Look at you. Going dumb all from me playing with you already. Gonna be my sweet little dumb baby girl? I haven’t even started yet. Go dumb all you want. Just be sure not to run away from what I’m about to do.”

You sighed and sank further into his arms, trusting and anticipating the pleasure that was to come.

“Oh!”

Ransom’s hand was at your pussy now, and the quick force of air before his finger came down to slap it was your only warning.

“Ran!”

You arched, pushing your ass into the mattress and your head into his arm as you moved with pleasure. You could feel his hard cock on your hip and the wet spot on his boxers and you reached for it.

Ransom let you have what you wanted, and he kissed your temple.

“Sweet little dumb Minxy for my cock. Go ahead. Play with it. S’not gonna stop me from doing what I want.”

Ransom smoothed his fingers down your clit, collecting the wetness there and pushing all three fingertips inside you sideways as your thumb swiped across his wet, dripping slit.

“Fuck, Ran…,” you whined as he moved and curled his digits just right to reach that sweet spongy spot inside you. Ransom thought you were the most beautiful thing in the world.

“Right… right there, hunh?”

Ransom chuckled into your ear as you opened your legs wider for him. He bit your earlobe as his thumb strummed your clit. Your legs started shaking and you arched into his mouth which was now at your nipple, sucking hard and causing sparks to go off behind your eyelids.

“Ummmhmmmm.”

You started stroking him faster and licking your lips. Ransom was paying rapt attention to all your expressions.

“What’re you thinking about, Minxy? Giving me that neck while I make you cum? Want me to stuff it down your throat?”

Your eyes rolled back into your skull as the thought made you even wetter and Ransom could feel your pussy tremor.

“Yes, please Ran!”

You nodded frantically.

“Not this time, Minx. You always manage to distract me with that and you run away from your orgasm. This time you’re gonna get what you deserve.”

“Nooo…”

This time you shook your head as Ransom carefully watched your face. He could read you like a book and he pulled you even closer by pulling his arm around your throat. He pulled your legs even further apart as he concentrated on circling your clit as he controlled your air.

You grasped at his arm because you felt what was coming, and it was going to be big. Ransom eased up on your windpipe as you arched into the bed again, your body stiffening as you neared the top of the rollercoaster of pleasure. His mouth drew nearer to your ear as you signaled how close you were.

"Give it to me, Minx."

That gravelly bass was all you needed.

“Uh.. ah. OHHHFFUUUUCCCKKK!”

You became a bucking bronco and Ransom's strong arms and leg held you captive to feeling all of the pleasure. Your mind blanked as Ransom relentlessly thumbed your clit.

You couldn't breathe, but you managed a weak, “S-t-tooo much…”

“You can take it. You’re a strong girl. A real good girl Minx. You made me fall for you. You carried Golden. You can do anything. My good, sweet girl.”

You began to feel another orgasm building as Ransom continued. You felt the pressure building again and had to get away, trying to grab his hand in vain.

Ransom’s muscles rippled as his arm stayed right where it was. He palmed the back of your head and tilted your head.

“Look at that. I want you to see what I’m doing to you. What your body is going to do for me…”

He groaned as he felt your pussy spasm when you watched his fingers moving on you.

“Ransom!”

You squealed as you watched yourself squirt all over him. He must have been magic because you thought you saw his hand as it moved even faster between your legs.

“Ahhh. Yes. Yea ha ha yesss! Give me that shit.”

You were sobbing now as Ransom let you go, climbing down your body to put his mouth on you.

You jumped as he licked and sucked your slopping wet slit and smiled at your bliss. You were alternating between tears and laughter as you saw his delighted face.

You tugged his hair gently as he playfully kissed your sodden, pulsing pussy and smiled up at you.

“There now. Don’t you feel relaxed?”

You laughed at your husband.

“I hate you Ransom.”

Random placed another kiss on your pussy as he climbed back up beside you.

“I love you too, Minx.”

You were boneless, floating in space as you looked at your tousle-haired rake of a spouse. You ascertained that he was fully naked and still hard against your thigh even though you were floaty and your eyes were half closed.

“There’s just one more thing Ran...”

“What’s that Minx?”

Ransom's eyes were dark as you pulled him to you. He couldn’t resist slotting himself between your thighs as he stared at your fucked-out face.He leaned down and gave a taste of his you-flavored lips as he slid his thick hard cock inside you and moaned.

“Fuck me back to sleep Ran. Need more rest.”

Ransom rocked deep inside you, sucking and marking up your neck as his hand slid down your body. You relished his girth and the feel of every bump and ridge of him as he started stroking inside you, making your insides light up like the early morning sky.

“Whatever you need, Minx…but you’ve got to give me one more. Around my cock, like the good little girl you are…”

——

If you like it and you know it, hit reblog! 👏🏽👏🏽

[meear]

Friendly reminder that Fred and George literally tried to murder another student for trying to take House points from them

Like I know we apparently don't give a damn about NPCs in Harry Potter, but it's insane to me how no one acknowledges how fucking vile the Weasley twins were

(unrelated but it's also very funny how self-righteous Fred and George acted over Percy being a "git" and how they were convinced of their own moral superiority because they were on the good side, when I'm convinced Percy would never have done something so horrible)

Same goes for Harry and Ron mind you. The level of apathy and cruelty they demonstrate is CRAZY like they legit do not give a fuck. And yeah, I wasn't much better than them as a teenager when it came to people I didn't like, but surely that is something that should be addressed by the narrative?? By anyone? Hermione gets like 0,5 brownie point for suggesting that maybe they should tell someone (YES??) but considering she does jackshit about it that doesn't exactly endear her to me

Despite how many times Slytherin is said to be the evil house while Rowling glorifies the Gryffindor House (and she absolutely does, there are many examples in the books), the murder attempts between the two houses have been pretty one-sided (Fred&George to Montague and Sirius to Snape, not to mention the Weasley twins and Sirius were both 100% unapologetic.

Edit: yes, I was intentionally and graciously omitting Harry's attempt towards Draco in HP6 because even though using an unknown spell was unbelievably stupid, Harry had no idea Sectumsempra would do that and he felt awful about it + Draco did try to Crucio him. I'm watching you, though, Harry. You got over it a lil' too quickly when Ginny defended you.)

Well, Crabbe did try to kill the trio in HP7 , though 1) it was in the context of the war, they weren't exactly students anymore, but most importantly 2) the event is treated with the appropriate amount of horror for the situation

I think it's really fucked up that no one seems to find it a problem or even remember it but hey that's just me!

[cranetreegang]

And Eyes as Cold as the Deepest Lakes - Ominis x FemReader

:) guess who's back. back with more OMINIS!!!! i have a lot of ideas written and i hope i'll get around to editing and posting more very soon. I wanted to do some bantering between Ominis and Sebastian and their friendship, which i hope i nailed, and just how cold Ominis can be to other people. He's like a cat in my head.

He's my Lil Meow Meow.

hope you enjoy! <3

Summary: Curiosity gets the better of Ominis, and Natty must do what Sebastian failed to.

Word Count: ~2,000 words

Read more of my Ominis Fics Here!

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Sebastian and Ominis lounge in the Dark Arts Tower, waiting for their last class of the day to start. Sebastian’s head is firmly engrossed in his book while Ominis tries to focus on the four inches he has to write about Knotgrass Sprig and its various applications. While he knows he has much to write, he finds the motivation to do so to be quite illusive, given how his mind keeps wandering from the pages in front of him to more pressing matters. With the lack of Ominis’ quill to fill the silence for some time, Sebastian glances over to his daydreaming companion. 

“You seem distracted today.” Sebastian smirks with a raised brow as Ominis stiffens in place. 

“I’m surprised you could even notice given how intently you’re reading.” Ominis huffs. 

Sebastian shuts the book with a loud slap, “What’s going on in that mind of yours?” 

“It’s nothing. Go back to your reading. I still have three inches left to write by tomorrow.” 

Sebastian snorts, “Fine. Be that way.” 

He opens his book again, sparing glances to Ominis. Ominis’ brows are pinched together and his lips pursed. Sebastian can’t help his grin at Ominis’ crumbling resolve. 

Ominis lets out a long sigh, “It’s… about her.” 

Sebastian smirks, leaning forward while he places his book down on the table between them. 

“Thinking about our new friend, are we?” 

Ominis grimaces with a huff, “I shouldn’t have said anything.” 

“Oh, come now, Ominis. Don’t be that way. Tell me. What’s got you so distracted about her?” 

Ominis shifts in place, not liking Sebastian’s underlying, teasing tone. 

“Come on.” Sebastian groans. “You can’t just say that then leave me in suspense. Tell me.” 

Ominis scowls in Sebastian’s direction, “This stays between us, Sebastian. I mean it.” 

“Of course. Now, spill it.”

Ominis’ hands wring the cloth of his pants together and he chews the inside of his cheek. He takes a deep breath through his nose. 

“I’ve been wanting to ask you,” Ominis begins slowly, “if you could…,”

“If I could?” Sebastian holds himself from pressing Ominis further. 

“If you could…,” Ominis’ can’t believe how hard it is to speak to Sebastian, of all people, about this. Ominis can barely hear over the blood pounding in his ears. 

“Can you describe her to me?” Ominis blurts out. 

Sebastian stares at him for several breaths before chuckling. 

“Is that all?” 

Ominis’ upper lip curls, “I knew it was a mistake to bring it up.”

Before Ominis can stand to leave, Sebastian is quick to settle his friend back onto the couch.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting you to ask me that. That’s all.” Sebastian eases Ominis despite him still looking ready to leave at a moment’s notice. 

Sebastian hums in thought, “How to describe her…,” 

Ominis waits with mounting distress while Sebastian mulls over his answer. 

“Ah! Alright. Let’s start with her hair.” Sebastian explains to Ominis what color her hair and eyes are. He then goes on to say she has a nice smile, with good teeth. She may have a scar on her cheek, but Sebastian isn’t quite sure. And she always looks like her mind is elsewhere. Ominis furrows his brows at his friend’s explanation of her. 

“Thank you, Sebastian. I appreciate you trying.” Ominis sighs, disguising his frown with a taut grin.

“Anytime! Now, come on. Class’s about to start. And we can’t be late again.” 

Ominis snorts, “More like you can’t be late again.” 

Ominis ponders over what Sebastian told him, feeling disappointed at not having a clearer picture of her. He supposes he’ll just have to live with what he’s felt about her as good enough, as asking her directly is out of the question. As class ends, Sebastian is quick to say his farewells to Ominis, something about needing to slip into the Restricted Section, leaving Ominis to head back to the common room on his own. 

Ominis doesn’t make it far from the classroom when he hears his name called. He pauses his stride and waits for whoever it is to catch up.

“You are Ominis, yes? Ominis Gaunt?” An accented girl’s voice asks him. 

“As far as I know I am. And you are?” He’s heard her voice before in some of their classes. Charms, he recalls. 

“I am Natty.” She introduces. 

Ominis gives a slight bow of his head, “Pleasure to meet you, Natty.” 

He bides for her to speak, wondering why she flagged him down in the first place. 

“I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation with Sebastian just before class,” Natty informs him, making his stomach flip. Whom else may have heard his conversation? He swallows down his worry as Natty continues, “You were asking about the new Fifth year, yes?” 

“What are you trying to get at, Natty?” Ominis snaps. 

Natty giggles, “I only wish to help. I have noticed she spends time with you. She speaks fondly of you as well.” 

“She does?” Omins brows raise nearly to his hairline. 

“Indeed. I was hoping to help. Given that I too have spent time with her as well.” 

Ominis cranes his head towards Natty with a slight scowl, “And why do you want to help me? Out of the goodness of your heart?” 

“Something like that.” If Natty is offended by his harshness, she does well in disguising it. 

Ominis senses Natty walking away, leaving him with a conflicting decision. He’s only heard good things about Natty. 

Talented. Smart. Friendly. Typical Gryffindor, he muses. While he’s not inclined to believe her fully, he is curious as to what she has to say. He shakes his head slightly then he follows after Natty. 

“Well? Is this your attempt to aggrieve me? Or, did you actually have something worthwhile to say? Because if you’re trying to tease me about this, I won’t stand for it.” 

“I am not trying to cause you distress, my friend.” Natty eases the ruffled boy. “There are many ears in these halls.” She spares him a glance and takes in his scowling features. 

He shakes his head, “I still don’t comprehend why you’re even bothering to assist me with this matter at all.” 

Natty leads them to the Quad Courtyard. He can hear the rushing waterfall to his left as she leads them to an overlook. 

“This is one of my favorites. And also somewhat private.” She says with a smile in her words. 

“Will you discuss what you wish to say to me now?” Ominis presses. 

Natty giggles, “She describes you far differently from how you are, you know? Far more patient. And kind.” 

Ominis turns his head towards her with a scowl plastered on his face, making Natty laugh more. 

“Easy, my friend. I shall tell you. Mhm. But, where to begin.” Natty hums in thought. The chilled breeze and cool mist lands on both of them. Ominis does his best to keep his exasperation hidden behind a mask of indifference and his tongue firmly held in place.

“I think I know where to begin.” 

“I am dying of suspense. Truly.” He seethes.

“I can tell.” Natty looks over to the Slytherin boy with amusement at his disgruntled state.  “Well, you are aware of certain qualities she has. Like her smile. You can hear it in her voice when she speaks. It is enough to make even the most dispirited to become uplifted. It is contagious! And you can’t help but smile with her. And her smile isn’t just on her lips either. It travels all the way to her eyes.” Natty glances over to Ominis, who has a slight smile of his own. 

“What about her eyes?” He wonders with repose.

“Mhm, her eyes. Cool as the waters of the lake, and just as deep too.  One can find themselves lost in them, if they are not careful. But they also possess a warmth which rivals that of the summer sun. It is like she sees you for who you are, and she has no judgment. Only kindness. Kindness and love. Genuine love.” 

He’s felt this ardent sensation from her before, he realizes. To know it is not of his imagination makes his cheeks burn.

“There is also a spark within her eyes. One might mistake it just for mischievousness, but I’ve come to realize it is also of burning curiosity.” 

Ominis chuckles to himself, “She does indeed like to get herself into trouble. Too curious for her own good at times.” 

“Indeed. Oh, and speaking of trouble. Her hair!” Natty begins to laugh. “I swear, it always looks like she just got off her broom. Like the wind, it is free and wild. She does try to tame it. But, you can always tell when she has been out flying.”

Ominis can’t stop grinning at Natty’s description of his friend. His wild, untamed friend.

“What I noticed right away about her though,” Natty continues and Ominis leans in closer to hear, “is her heart. She’s kind. Strong. Brave. She is willing to do anything for you. Even for a complete stranger in need. I’ve never met another like her, as you might have concluded as well.” 

Ominis nods, “She’s quite special.”

Natty smiles as she gazes upon Ominis’ dreamy stare. 

“She thinks the same of you, you know.”

Ominis whips his head towards Natty with raised brows, making her laugh.

“Don’t look so surprised.” Natty chuckles. 

Ominis frowns at his slip-up, “I wasn’t aware she spoke about me.” 

“Yes. Quite often. She likes you.” Natty grins then quickly adds, “But, you did not hear that from me.” 

Ominis can’t help his smirk, despite his best attempt to conceal it with a cough. 

“Of course. I-, Thank you. For speaking to me about this. You’ve been a great help. And I won’t soon forget this.” 

Natty bows her head, “Anytime.”

There’s a stretch of silence between them before she speaks again, “You have felt it too, haven’t you?” 

He tilts his head at her question, waiting for her to elaborate further.

“There is something about her. Different. Almost like she draws you in. Like she is-,”

“Magnetic.” He whispers. 

Natty’s eyes light up, “Yes. Exactly. Magnetic. So, you have felt it as well.” 

He gives a slow nod, “I have. It’s… difficult to ignore. I don’t think even Sebastian realizes it. Given how… distracted he has been as of late.” 

“She has a way with the world. My mother has spoken about great people of our time who tend to have a powerful presence. Leaving a powerful impact wherever they go.” 

His brows furrow with a slight scoff, “You believe her to be a great person of our time?”

Natty shrugs, “I do not know for certain. But, I would not be surprised. I will say with some certainty that she seems to have a dangerous path set before her. One which I hope to help her with. As she has helped me.” 

He’s not sure how to feel about Natty’s viewpoint. A heavy weight of dread looms over him at the mere idea of his friend being in harm’s way. Like she has no choice, but to abide by destiny’s demands. The notion troubles him.

“Well, I shall leave you to it then.” Natty bows her head then turns to leave.

Ominis hears her walk away, her shoes hitting the stone walkway with purpose towards the Grand Staircase. He manages to find a lone bench to sit on. He can’t begin to come up with ways to truly thank Natty for what she's done. He also curses her at the same time as his heart can’t stop beating at the conjured images in his mind’s eye of what his friend may look like. And what her true purpose here at Hogwarts may be.

A great person of their time. He grimaces at the premise, but also at how true this may be.

He sighs to himself then he heads his way back to the dorm with more thoughts reigning over his mind.

---------------------------

AN: I've been doing my very bestest to keep 1. no names for the Fifth year and 2. no physical descriptions of the Fifth Year. and I know i said her eyes were cold, but that's really just cause i wanted to do some hot and cold allegories. im a whore for them what can i say. sue me. but don't cause im like poor. thx.

Let me know what y'all think! I always love hearing feedback and trying to make these stories better :)

Read more of my Ominis Fics Here!

[lovegalor333]

fresh start

part eight (chapter 22-24) previous part • next part

word count: 6.8k

content warnings: mentions of su*cide homophobia self-h*rm

Lily

Kelsey, Kayla and I had met for lunch and were sat together in the cafeteria waiting for Paige and the girls to finish their workout.

"How many follow requests do you have now?" Kelsey asks peering over my shoulder as I scroll on my phone.

"I think it's at like twelve thousand." I say as I navigate to Instagram to check, "Twelve thousand, one hundred and sixty three." I confirm.

Paige tagged me in a story for the first time this morning and after the pictures and videos of us after the game came out, of course people have been curious as to who I am. I have a private page so all people can see is my profile picture and that induces enough anxiety I know I'm not ready for them to see my whole feed just yet.

"You're going to be famous! Have you seen the TikTok edits?" My roommate asks, practically bouncing in her seat.

"Yes, but have you seen the comments?" My stomach flips at the memory of last night.

I stayed off of social media for as long as possible after the game just to avoid the initial reaction to Paige and me but as soon as I went on TikTok, I was inundated. Despite everyone telling me to not open the comments, I did and I couldn't stop scrolling once I started.

Of course there were nice comments too but the ones that stood out, the ones that have stayed in my head have been the nasty ones. A lot of people have enjoyed telling me how ugly and disgusting I am, how I don't deserve Paige and how she could do so much better.

"Girl, you have to ignore those. They're coming from literal children that are jealous. Do you know how much hate I got when I first started hanging out with the team?" Kayla chimes in.

"Does it get any better?" I half laugh, half huff hoping her answer is yes.

"Once they realise you're not going anywhere, it'll ease up. It's part and parcel of WAG life unfortunately, someones always going to want to be you." Kayla says and I'd be lying if I said the haters weren't planting seeds of doubt in my mind about whether I'm strong enough for this.

"I couldn't workout multiple times a day! I don't know how they do it." Kelsey lightens the mood as she nibbles on her cookie.

"Me either." I agree and gulped down the remainder of my water hoping it would ease the sudden headache that I had.

I got up to refill my bottle and was hit with a random wave of intense dizziness. If it wasn't 1PM on a Tuesday you'd think I was drunk.

"Your neck is kinda red Lils." Kayla says pointing towards my neck as I joined her and Kelsey again.

My hand instinctively goes to my neck and its warm to the touch and slightly itchy and that's when I realise what's happening.

"Shit!" I exclaim grabbing the empty salad box from the table in front of me and I scan the ingredients list frantically.

"What's happening?" Kayla asks leaning towards me.

"I think I'm having an allergic reaction. Actually...I know I'm having an allergic reaction." I breath out in jagged breaths as I start to panic but also because I was most likely going into anaphylaxis.

"Holy fuck!" Kelsey exclaims, standing up, "Where's your EpiPen?"

"In my bag." I tell her and I suddenly feel extremely sick and as if I'm about to faint.

My body temperature is rising and I feel disoriented and confused.

Kelsey hands me my EpiPen and I administer it they way I was taught. Removing the blue safety cap and quickly jabbing it into to my thigh, but my lightheadedness only increases and I know for sure I'm about to faint.

Paige

The doors to the gym swing open and smack into the wall causing us to all turn and see who had made such a loud entrance.

"Kelsey?" I say confused as Lilys best friend hurries in the gym, "I know I said I'd meet y'all and one o'clock but I'm not that late." I laugh glancing at the time and seeing it's only ten past the hour.

Kelsey shakes her head as she reaches me breathless, "It's not that. It's Lily, we had to call 911."

It feels as though I've been hit by a truck, my knees go weak and almost buckle beneath me and I felt vomit rise in my throat.

"What?!" I exclaim, scrambling to grab my phone from the floor to check if I'd missed anything, "What happened?"

"She had a reaction. We think she ate something containing nuts, the ambulance is on the way." Kelsey explains and I look towards my teammates almost as though I was stuck in place, unable to move.

"Go!" Nika urges throwing me the t-shirt she had over her shoulder because I was dressed in just a sports bra and shorts after our workout.

I catch the shirt and hurry after Kelsey out of the gym.

"Text me!" Azzi calls after me and I don't have time to reply, I'm just focused on getting to Lily as quickly as possible.

The usual quick walk from the gym to the cafeteria felt like it took hours even when I was running. I finally see the ambulance as Kelsey and I rounded the corner and the sight of the vehicle calmed me slightly knowing Lily was in safe hands.

"Lily?" I called out as we jogged into the cafeteria, although I don't know why, I didn't expect her to respond. From what Kelsey had said, she was in a bad way.

"Oh my god, Lily." When I see her, she's already laid on a stretcher, an oxygen mask secured over her mouth and nose, her is sleeve rolled up and there's an IV connected to her arm.

Her eyes are in an inbetween state of half opened and half closed, she looks as though she's just falling asleep or waking up.

"Is someone coming in the ambulance?" The paramedic asks looking at all of us around Lily.

"Me." I say on impulse.

"I'll follow in my car." Kayla says gathering her belongings.

I follow behind the paramedics wheeling Lily to the ambulance and pull the shirt Nika gave me over my head.

"Is she going to be OK?" I timidly ask the paramedics as they load Lily into the ambulance.

"She administered the adrenaline quickly so she'll be fine. With anaphylaxis, there can be a biphasic response, a secondary reaction, so it's best to be at the hospital in case that happens."

"Paige..." I hear Lilys low, muffled voice call out my name.

"Hey, I'm here." I say tenderly reaching for her hand as the ambulance begins to drive.

Her eyes are still heavy and hooded and if I didn't know better, I'd think she was drunk or high. She tries to pull down her oxygen mask, "Keep that on pretty girl, it's helping you." I say moving her hand away.

The journey to the hospital was quick and mostly silent apart from my words of encouragement to my girlfriend. Her eyes would flicker open every now and then and she'd squeeze my hand, communicating without words.

We were put in a room as soon as we arrived and multiple doctors and nurses bustled in and out tending to Lily.

I listen intently to each thing they said. Lily was being treated with more adrenaline, oxygen and fluids intravenously. She would make a full recovery.

"We'd like to keep you here for a few hours, Miss Kent. Just to monitor your condition and ensure there isn't a secondary reaction. Your blood pressure is increasing so you should start to feel normal again soon." The nurse says to Lily before excusing herself, leaving us alone.

"How are you feeling?" I ask walking over to Lilys bedside.

She pulls down the oxygen mask and I let her this time, "Better." She says, her voice weak and childlike.

"Good because you had me scared me for a second." I say smoothing down her hair.

"I was scared too." She tells me and she begins to silently cry, tears running down her face. "I've always had a pretty good handle on my allergy, this made me feel so...out of control."

"Oh Lily," I say wiping her tears as they fall, "accidents happen baby. You handled it exactly the way you should have. I'm proud of you." I tell her wrapping her in a hug as best I could while she was laid down and I was stood over her.

"I'm usually so careful with checking ingredients but I must have missed something." She continues and pushes herself up slightly so she's sitting.

"I know, but you're OK Lily," I reassure her, my hand cupping her cheek, "you can't blame yourself, things get missed sometimes and we can't help that, we just have to deal with it and you did."

"I don't even remember what happened clearly. I just remember my head hurting so bad and then all of a sudden I was on a stretcher with this mask on and you were there, with no shirt on." She weakly jokes raising her brows cheekily, "I think that's what brought me back to life."

I laugh, "Still got a sense of humour, I see. I worked hard on these abs, glad to know they're saving lives."

"Maybe if you flash them again, we'll get out of here quicker."

"Or maybe you're blood pressure will raise too much and we'll be here all night, so relax please."

Lily was discharged from hospital four hours later, with two new EpiPens and antihistamines that she needed to take for the next few days.

Kayla drove us all back to campus and dropped me off with Lily and Kelsey at their apartment.

"Thank you, K." Lily says as we climb out of the car.

"No worries, Lil. Get some rest." Kayla replies and waves us goodbye.

"I don't think I can even make it to the apartment, my legs feel like jello." Lily says holding onto my arm in support.

"I don't don't spend hours in the gym for nothing." I say crouching down in front of her so I could give her a piggyback ride, "Hop on."

Lily climbs on my back and I carry her into the apartment block and into the elevator. We follow Kelsey through the front door and I lower Lily onto her bed.

"What would I do without you?" She says reaching out for me.

"Don't even think about that, you've got me." I say and we lay side by side on her bed in comfortable silence.

"So how about seeing those abs." Lily says after a while, her hand trailing up under my shirt and I laugh.

"Anything for you."

˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪ ౨ৎ˚₊✧˚ · .

Lily

I was finally starting to feel better after my allergic reaction a few days ago and just starting to get back to normal again after taking time off work and away from classes to recover.

I've always been extremely careful with my allergy, taking extra care when I eat out to make sure everything is safe and up until now I've managed to never have such a severe reaction so in a way I felt like I have failed. I couldn't keep myself safe. I couldn't do the one thing that really matters and it scared me. What if it happens again? And even worse, what if I'm alone when it happens? I was lucky to have my friends by my side this time. I was used to being in control and being so out of control wasn't something I wanted to experience again.

I force myself to stop thinking so negatively because that never ends well and I walk out of my bedroom and into our living room. All my roommates were out so I was home alone, not that I minded much.

Every surface was home to a beautiful bunch of flowers, gifted to me by my friends, people I worked with and of course Paige. Paiges bouquet was the most extravagant and took pride of place in the centre of our dining table. I smiled as I passed the full vases feeling very thankful for my friends and girlfriend.

I had held off calling home and telling my parents about my hospital visit because I knew it would turn into a lecture of some kind but Thanksgiving was coming up and I needed to know our plans because I'd be going back to Boston for a few days.

I settled myself into the couch, pulling a fluffy blanket over the bottom half of my body and pressed call on my moms contact. The dialling tone rang and rang and rang until I was eventually met with her answering machine. I decided to try my dad and I just as I thought he wasn't going to pick up either, at the last second he did.

"Hello, Lily." My dads voice spoke stern and serious as always through my phone.

"Hi, Dad. I tried to call Mom but I got her voicemail. Is everything OK? I wanted to talk to you both." I say.

"Your mother is here with me now."

Weird.

"Oh, why didn't she pick up?" I ask confused. If my mom wasn't busy then why had she avoided my call?

I hear my moms muffled voice through the phone but I can't quite make out what she is saying but her tone didn't sound happy.

"Dad?"

"Lily, listen. You're mother has been seeing stuff online. About you. You...and a girl. Another girl."

My entire body freezes as my dad speaks and I feel my heart rate spike.

Why did this sound like a problem?

"Right..." I say wanting my dad to continue with whatever point he was trying to make.

"You said you wanted to leave Boston for a fresh start and it seems nothing has changed." My dads words hit like knives.

"I-I left for a fresh start because I tried to kill myself. I didn't come to Connecticut for conversion therapy. I came to move on from everything that happened." I croak out as my mouth has completely dried up and it feels as though my throat is closing.

My mom continues to speak but I still can't make out her words, "You speak to her then, Jackie." My dad says as I hear my mom huff and the phone being passed over.

"If you left to move on then why are you still living the same way? With this- this Paige girl! And so publicly! It's like you want the entire world to know. The entire world does know! It's all anyone asks me about. It makes me sick." My mom shouted at me to the point of breathlessness.

I felt blindsided. I was so confused. My parents had been fine with me and my ex, they were happy for me to come to Connecticut.

"I don't understand where this has come from. You had no problem with me and Mia-"

"We didn't know about you and Mia until it was over and Mia...she's turned her life around. We thought you would have too." My mom continues her rant and all my emotions begin to blend into one, there are tears streaming down my face but I've never been angrier.

"What do you mean 'turned her life around'?" I ask although I know exactly what she meant.

"She's fixed. Whatever you had with her was just a phase and rightly so! She has a handsome boyfriend now and is very happy." My mom solidifies my assumptions and I feel sick to my stomach.

"And I'm very happy with my beautiful girlfriend." I say trying to steady my voice to not make it obvious that I was crying.

My mom lets out a ridiculous child-like cry as if I'd just died.

"Lily that's enough. You're making your mom upset." My dads voice comes through the phone again and I laugh in irony.

"I was calling about Thanksgiving plans and to tell you guys I had a bad reaction and was in the hospital." I spit, anger laced in my words.

"She's not coming back here for Thanksgiving. Everyone knows!" My moms voice rings out clear and unforgiving.

"Jackie-" My dad begins to reason but I end the call before I hear anything more.

I didn't need to hear anything more.

I sit lifeless on the couch just staring ahead so many thoughts and feelings swirling around inside of me but simultaneously feeling completely numb and void of emotion.

What had just happened?

I moved robotically back to my room, my phone still clutched in my hands as if I was waiting for my dad to call me back and apologise for what had been said but I knew all too well that that wouldn't happen. I knew my parents too well. I was stupid to believe they were OK with who I was in the first place but did they really think that coming to Connecticut would somehow change who I loved?

I stood in my bedroom contemplating what to do. That phone call had changed everything. My mom had made it clear that I wasn't welcome at home. Home. Could I even call it that anymore? Just as things were beginning to plateau, just as I was starting to genuinely feel happy again, it felt like someone was playing a sick joke on me.

I felt the overwhelming urge to cope with this in the only way I knew how to cope with anything that hurt me mentally and that was to feel it physically.

Paiges words from weeks ago played on repeat in my head as I searched my room for something to hurt myself with.

"If you ever, ever get the urge to hurt yourself again, please come to me first. You're not alone anymore, I promise you."

I began to get frustrated as my frantic search was proving pointless. I had purposely not brought anything to Connecticut that I could use because I was determined to stay clean and not relapse but that felt like an impossible task right now.

I moved my search to the kitchen, I knew there'd be something there.

"If you ever, ever get the urge to hurt yourself again, please come to me first. You're not alone anymore, I promise you."

I opened random drawers as if I hadn't lived in the apartment for months and knew exactly where everything was but my head was a mess and I couldn't think straight.

I finally found the drawer I'd set out to find, filled with utensils.

"If you ever, ever get the urge to hurt yourself again, please come to me first. You're not alone anymore, I promise you."

My vision was significantly blurred by tears now, I blinked rapidly to clear the haze and reached into the drawer. My hand shook as I picked up the small but sharp knife.

"If you ever, ever get the urge to hurt yourself again, please come to me first. You're not alone anymore, I promise you."

I knew deep down this wasn't the right thing to do. This isn't what I wanted to do, but when you're so used to doing something and so used to it being a release, it becomes addictive. A habit that becomes unbreakable.

"If you ever, ever get the urge to hurt yourself again, please come to me first. You're not alone anymore, I promise you."

I wanted to drop the knife and call Paige and ask her to come here right now and just hold me and tell me everything would be OK but my hands wouldn't release there grip and my brain was telling me Paige had better things to do.

Paige

I had almost finished studying for the evening, my eyes were tired from focusing on a screen for so long and my body ached from today's workout but I continued typing. My phone was switched to Do Not Disturb but as it rang from its place on my nightstand, I knew it was Lily because she was the only contact that could override my settings.

"Hi, pretty girl." I say and smile knowing that hearing Lilys voice would quickly diffuse any negative feeling that had built up during the day.

"Paige," Lilys voice came out hoarse and strained and my smile immediately faded, "can you come to mine...please?" She asks.

"Yes. I'm on my way." I say without a second thought, leaving my laptop open, music playing and just grabbing my keys.

"Thank you." Lily replies so quietly that I can just about make it out over the sound of my own rushed footsteps.

"What's wrong?" I ask as I leave my apartment and rush down the stairs to my car. I could tell by Lilys voice alone that something was wrong and every second of silence intensified my concern.

"Lily?" I question when she doesn't reply.

"I-I just need you." She says, her voice breaking in the process.

"OK, I'm coming baby. I'm in my car. Stay on the phone." I say as I start the engine and begin the short drive to Lilys apartment.

I try to ask questions that could at least hint at what was wrong but Lilys responses were short and didn't tell me much. I could just tell that she'd been crying or was currently crying and I stepped on the gas to get to her as quickly as possible.

"I'm outside Lily, let me in." I say once I reach the door of her apartment building. I hear her footsteps shuffle along the floor before the familiar buzz of the door being unlatched.

I take the stairs two at a time, any aches from today's workout long forgotten and once I reach Lilys floor and see she's stood in her open doorway, only then do I end the call.

I was right, Lily had been crying, her eyes were red and swollen and her cheeks were stained with tears, "What happened?" I ask, concern laced in my voice as I approach her, my arms instinctively wrapping around my girlfriend, holding her close.

Lily steps back still in my arms until we're stood in her living room and the door closes behind us.

"Lily, I'm worried."

"I-I don't know how to say it." Her voice is muffled against my chest.

"You can tell me anything." I say pulling away so I can look in her eyes as I reassure her, "You know that right? You can tell my anything."

She nods, "I thought I was doing well. I was doing well." Tears immediately fell as she began to speak.

"What happened?" I'm aware I sound like a broken record but I need to know what happened to get Lily in this state.

"I spoke to my parents. I was going to tell them about my reaction and see what our plans were for Thanksgiving but before I could do any of that...they- they attacked me over the phone. They've seen pictures of us online. They thought me being gay was a phase. They thought coming here would 'fix' me. Apparently my ex is 'fixed' and has a boyfriend now and I'm not welcome at Thanksgiving. I make them sick." She rambles out inbetween choked sobs.

At some point during that, we'd made our way to the couch and I sat beside Lily, her hand clutched in mine.

"Lily...what the fuck. I'm so sorry. You don't deserve this." I say wiping her tears as they slip down her face.

"I didn't know what to do Paige. I was thinking everything and nothing all at once. I couldn't process anything, I still can't. I-" She cuts herself off, unlinking her hand from mine and holding her head in her hands.

"You what Lily? What did you do?" I ask scooting to the edge of the couch, trying to get her to look at me again.

"I know you said to call you. To come to you but I couldn't think straight my head was a mess."

She doesn't have to say anymore for me to understand what she's getting at.

"Did you hurt yourself?" I ask tentatively.

Keeping her head in her hands, she just nods.

"Oh Lily." I say and wrap my arm around her shoulders pulling her close to me again. I press my lips to her head in comfort as she cries into my chest.

"I need you to show me baby."

"No. No way." Lily says and jumps away from me as if I'd just given her an electric shock.

"I need to make sure you're OK. I need to check incase you need to go to the ER." I say softly reaching out for her again.

It takes some persuading but Lily finally allows me to check her arm. I wince at the sight but don't make it obvious to her. I use the apartments First Aid box to clean and bandage the wound.

"There you go." I say once I'm done and Lily quickly rolls down her sleeve. Her eyes didn't once leave the wall directly in front of her and her movements were robotic.

"I'm sorry." Lily says as I return to her side after putting the First Aid box away.

"For what pretty girl?"

"For all of this mess. I'm a mess and you have to deal with it. I'm sorry for that." She says and I swear I hear my heart break.

"Never apologise to me, Lily. I love you and I'd do anything for you. You mean everything to me and I just want you to be OK."

"I don't think I'll ever be OK, Paige. Every time I try, I think I'm doing good then something happens and ruins it."

"Nothings ruined Lily. You're trying, you try everyday and I'm so proud of you. This is just a lapse and they happen and it's OK. We dust ourselves off and try again. Self-harm is an addiction and it's not easy to overcome but you're not alone. I'm glad you called me. I'm glad I'm here with you now. We can get through this together." I tell her now looking directly into her eyes, one hand stroking her face.

"I love you so much." She says leaning into me, wrapping her arms around my waist.

"I love you." I reply wrapping my arms around her too.

I take Lily to bed not long after and she lays her head on my chest and I stroke her hair rhythmically.

"I think that's it with my parents." She says after a prolonged silence.

"For real?" I ask, wanting Lily to talk more and not wanting to put words in her mouth.

"Yeah. If they can't accept me for who I am, I won't change myself to make them happy and I won't live a lie. Coming here and meeting you has been the best thing that's happened to me in a long time and I won't let nothing or nobody ruin that." She says.

"I really am sorry, Lily. I'm sorry your parents said all those things. You deserve so much more. I'll give you what you deserve. I'll give you the world."

˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪ ౨ৎ˚₊✧˚ · .

Paige

The season was in full swing and it would be and understatement to say I was feeling it. After just two games, one win, one loss, I was exhausted. I worked ridiculously hard over the summer to make sure I was fully recovered to ensure I had an injury free season. What I had failed to realise is that my body forgot what it was like to be playing for almost forty minutes straight but I was living my dream, getting to play basketball at this level has been something I've strived for my whole life so I'll never complain.

We were playing Maryland today at Gampel and the team was due to meet at the venue in thirty minutes so I was picking up Lily an afternoon coffee and would drop it off to her before I had to go and warm up.

She had had a difficult few days, between the allergic reaction, horrible phone call with her parents and relapsing, I'm surprised the girl was even able to go into work today. She was strong and I admired her for it. I just wish she would open up to me more and let me be there for her in the way I want to be. I felt inexperienced in this relationship, I've never had someone close to me suffer with their mental health like Lily does so I've been talking to my friends and reading article after article so I know the right thing to do.

The common consensus is to just keep making it abundantly clear that I'm there for Lily whenever she needs me and I already do that and will continue to.

The line in the cafè wasn't long so it didn't take me long to order and recieve Lily's usual - an iced soy milk latte - and be on my way to her office.

I knocked lightly on the door, "Come in." Lilys voice came from the otherside soft and light, a huge difference to what it has been like in recent days.

I peep my head around ther door and see Lily is alone in the room, "Hi, pretty girl." I say and walk inside and her facial expression changing from one of deep concentration to a soft, sweet smile. "Hi, P." She says getting up from her seat and greeting me with a hug.

She had her glasses on and I got lost in her appearance for second. Lily rarely wore her glasses, she only needed them when she was working at a computer so she looked different but I wasn't complaining.

"I brought you coffee." I say presenting her the drink and her smile grows, "Thank you, it's definitely needed." She says taking a sip immediately and moaning at the taste, my cheeks flush at the sound but Lily's oblivious to her effect.

"I don't know how you're drinking an iced drink in the middle of November." I shake my head as lean against Lilys desk.

"Iced coffee is superior, whatever the climate." She says matter of factly and I can only smile at her little quirk.

"How are you feeling today?" I ask more seriously.

Lily nods, "I'm OK. Been better." She says.

"And you'll get there again." I tell her reaching out to take her hand and pull her closer to me.

"I know. Just weird I'm an orphan now." She tries to joke but her eyes tell a different story.

"Your parents might come round. You're their daughter above everything, I'm sure they love you. They won't want to lose you."

"Maybe," She sighs, "but I won't ever put myself around people that can't accept me for who I am and on top of that, abuse me for it. Until they apologise and are able to just support me, I don't want to see them."

"I understand. You have to put yourself first and I'll be right by your side." I reiterate what I've been telling Lily from the beginning, she's not alone.

"I don't know what I did to deserve you." She says leaning into me and I take this as my chance to wrap my arms around her and hold her close, taking in her signature floral scent.

"You deserve everything good in life Lily and if I can contribute to that, I'm happy." I say to my girlfriend.

"You better contribute to the win today. I wanna see nothing but threes." She smiles up at me, lightening the conversation.

"You ask and you shall receive." I say moving my hands to her waist and turning us in one swift movement so Lily's body is now pressed between mine and the desk behind her.

"You know," I say moving back slightly letting my eyes trail down her frame, "you look good at this desk and with these glasses on. Very professional."

"Yeah?" She smirks, her hand reaching out for the chain she bought me around my neck.

"Uh huh. Shame you're not wearing one of those little skirts you have." My hand grazes her thigh over her trousers.

"A terrible shame." She agrees, shaking her head.

"You know for next time." I tuck her hair behind her ear and press a quick kiss to her lips.

"I should get to warm ups." I say pulling away realising the time.

"Ugh P," She huffs, "you really know how to get me flustered and then just leave." She pouts, her cheeks visibly rosy.

"Just imagine how boring life would be without me." I smile and blow her a kiss from the doorway before leaving.

Lily

Watching Paige play basketball was quickly becoming my favourite thing to do. Even though I was technically working, I was enjoying getting to watch my girlfriend pace up and down the court, shooting the ball into the basket and making blocks that didn't seem possible until she executed them perfectly leaving not only me, but the entire crowd in awe.

I couldn't help myself from jumping to my feet and cheering each time the team increased their lead.

"How are these questions for post game?" Marcus asks me during halftime, angling his laptop towards me.

I skim over the typed out questions and nod my head encouragingly, "They're great! You always have the perfect mix of basketball and personal questions that get the girls talking." I compliment.

"Thank you, Lils. I try and make it as relaxed as possible."

"This is perfect to end on." I say pointing to one question in particular.

'With Thanksgiving break approaching, what's something you're thankful for?'

"The next newsletter going out is Thanksgiving themed so I thought it was a good fit." Marcus says just as the girl filter back onto the court for the next quater.

As I took pictures and videos of the third quater, I thought of Marcus' question and what Paiges answer would be. She was almost always picked to do media and with the game she was having I knew it would be a no brainer.

Knowing Paige, I was certain she would mention her family, the team and God. Paige showed immense gratitude everyday in everything she said and did and she was humble when most people in her position would be the exact opposite.

My suspicions were verified post game when it came to Paiges answer however I was also left in a state of shock when she said something I could have never guessed.

"With Thanksgiving break approaching, what's something you're thankful for?" Marcus asked as I stood next to him, my phone in my hand, recording just the audio as that's all that was required.

"The same as every year, I'm immensely thankful for my family and friends - everyone around me that pushes me to be the best version of myself. I'm thankful for my team, that I get to play with some of the best people everyday and we get to live out our dreams together. I'm especially thankful for my health this year, I'll never take that for granted again and none of that would be possible without my belief in God and his belief in me." Paige pauses and glances in my direction and I'm smiling not only at her perfectly articulated answer but because of how well I know her. "And to wrap it up, I'm thankful for the person I have by my side - my girlfriend. Her selflessness and strength inspires me everyday." Paige finishes, her eyes still locked on mine.

What did she just say?

"Thank you, Paige and again, congratulations on the win." Marcus concludes the interview and I press stop on the audio recording.

"Paige." I breathe out, lost for words.

Marcus slips away quietly, leaving us alone, "What? I couldn't list off what I'm thankful for without mentioning you." She says smoothing over her ponytail.

I'm smiling so big my face begins to ache, "You realise that's going in the newsletter? You realise what that means?" I ask insinuating the obvious but not verbalising it.

Paige had never spoken on her sexuality or relationship status publicly, ever. We post on socials openly now and don't hide our affection in public but a label has never been mentioned, we could just be close friends if you didn't know us personally.

"Yes." Paige says simply.

I was of the mindset that no one needed to 'come out'. Straight people didn't so why did anyone else but I know in Paiges world, things were a little different but maybe I was wrong for thinking Paige preferred keeping things inconspicuous and lowkey.

I also only had my previous relationship as a comparison and that was kept a secret until the very end and I was always made to feel like the world would crash and burn if anyone found out. I wasn't used to being loved so openly.

"I love you so much." I say to Paige but I wish there was a word bigger than love.

"I love you too. And I've been thinking about Thanksgiving." She says and my mood drops slightly at the mention of the holiday. I'd be spending it here on campus, probably alone.

"What about it?"

"I want you to come home to Minnesota with me." She says shocking me for the second time in mere minutes.

"Paige...Thank you, but I couldn't- I couldn't just come and impose on your family like that." I say genuinely. There's nothing more that I'd love than to spend Thanksgiving with the person I'm most thankful for but I'd feel like an intruder.

"Lily, are you joking? My family loves you. I've already spoken to them about it, you're more than welcome and actually, Drew can't wait to see you. You're not going to crush his little heart, are you?" She says dramatically.

"Paige do not use your little brother like that." I frown.

"I'm not! He for real can't wait to see you." Paige insists.

"I'll think about it." I pacify as some of the team start to exit the changing rooms, freshly showered.

"Think quick and let the answer be 'Yes Paige, I'll come to Minnesota with you'. I'm going to clean up, meet you out front in fifteen?" She says and I nod in response.

I use the time Paige takes to shower to pop back to my office and upload the last of the behind the scenes storys from todays game and send the audio recordings to myself so I can transcribe them tomorrow.

"So...Marcus told me what Paige said in media." Kayla says slipping into my office.

"Did he now?"

"Yep! You have her so smitten it's adorable." She says smiling.

"It is pretty adorable." I say relishing in the feeling.

Kayla and I chat for a few minutes before I pack up my stuff and go to meet Paige.

"So?" Paige says with her brows raised as I approach her and I smile at her eagerness.

"Yes Paige, I'll come to Minnesota with you." I repeat the words she wanted to hear and watch as her lips curve upwards and open to reveal a huge grin and she picks me up and spins us around.

˖ ᡣ𐭩 ⊹ ࣪ ౨ৎ˚₊✧˚ · .

[neonfretra]

hockey art tag game!! ^_^ hello @wehaveagathering thank you for the tag!! <3

rules: post your first ever hockey art, your latest hockey art, and your favorite hockey art. then tag three hockey artists

tagging artists first because um. gestures at the keep reading below? im shy hello ^_^

@puckpocketed

@stillfertile

@oensible

any other artists that see this!! please tag me i beg of you i would love to get to know other hockey artists! if you already did it tag me who care. i care! :)

lot of yapping because i love yapping, sticking this under a cut ^_^ did you know tumblr changed their image limit from 10 to 30?

as a forewarning a lot of these images are hella compressed because i pulled them directly from posts, maybe consider peeking at the original linked posts to see them in marginally better quality ^_^

first hockey art

i never posted this one! i thought blackwood and kahkonen looked vaguely kiki and bouba esque respectively which is REALLY funny because the name mackenzie blackwood is more bouba than kaapo kahkonen which is an incredibly kiki name

now that i sound sufficiently deranged.

which of these shapes is be named kiki and which is named bouba?

the kiki/bouba effect was a study about our association with sound and shape, in which people associated "kiki" with a spiky shape and "bouba" with a round shape. (wikipedia, image also comes from wikipedia)

this was from when i was first dipping my toes into hockey and had the hardest time telling players apart! the drawing, not the kiki/bouba effect . you can imagine what two men with similar hair color, eye color, and hair styles on the same team playing the same position was like for me. the biggest part of why i didnt post this was because it was incredibly embarrassing at the time . now i can freely admit i dont know any of the eastern conference and people will think im funny ^_^

first hockey art on this blog

mostly because i think its a fun bit of trivia, the goalie portraits for the teams i started out rooting for! (sharks edition and kraken edition)

i posted these the first game of their corresponding teams after i finished them! the completion order is less straight forward because i was actively jumping between all 4 drawings (3 kraken goalie portraits + 1 portrait of 2 shark goalies) when one of them got too hard :)

i dont remember the exact order beyond grubi being the last i finished LMAO something about drawing him just does not agree with my hands

theyre all a lil ugly to me now but thats the fun of knowing how you started <3

i remember also wanting to draw pwhl minnesotas goalies but not knowing at the time how to find nearlyyy enough references to feel confident to go through with it! (i was looking them up on search engine images HAHAHAHA)

good ol pwhl min ^_^ leave out a fire extinguisher for em will you all, one hell of a trashfire on their hands right now

^ this joke was written BEFORE the whole firing of 3 coaches pwhl min are we okay??????

latest hockey art

...at time of posting mostly because i take a long time to get tag games done...! hello from my drafts everypony ^_^

i lie to myself ft. devin cooley and joey daccord!

a fun fact is that despite animating a bit ive actually never made an animatic before! ^_^

one of the challenges of animating is that you have to draw the same character over and over without making big changes and how to keep doing it consistently

one of the challenges of drawing real people is that you need to figure how to simplify a person to their most basic shapes and proportions . even if you have a realistic style you gotta wrangle the underlying bones to it and it is harddd takin that step back from the human person to make em a cartoon .

so you can imagine the how it goes animating real people

i actually wouldve loved addin more motion and frames but experienced some minor limitations:

i do my drawings in an art program and stitch them together afterwards, which means i dont have a sense of the speed of everything . you can kind of see that problem around the 0:19-0:20 mark because i straight up did not consider time when i wrote a really long winded sign in the background LOL the unused frame for this was also a time issue, i tossed in an establishing shot because i didnt consider the fact that there isnt time for an establishing shot

time and motivation . the longer something takes the less i want to work on it . would you believe well over half of this was taken up by like . being stumped on 2 or 3 frames HAHAHA

doing animation in an art program not made for art is really cumbersome actually. i do most of my work in one layer so you can imagine how it feels to suddenly have to keep track of tens of layers (sprites, backgrounds, foreground elements, captions) , i merged certain layers (white blocks under lineart for readability and closed captions over the lineart are all one layer) so its difficult to actually go back and add anything. or alter anything! closed captions from 0:13-0:15 is inaccurate but i cant alter them without literally erasing it from the layer which is scary

despite the fact that anything involving moving pictures kills me crazy style, im INCREDIBLY proud that this is done and this animatic is like my own child. shout out to the reblogs on the post for pointing out jokes or talkin that they like it, yall inflate my ego <3

at some point i stopped using reference images which is really funny to ME because i actually have the hardest time drawin a devin cooley that LOOKS like a devin cooley . get simplified . theres like. a handful of players i feel comfortable drawing without reference? if you ever want to learn how to draw someone, animate them ^_^

favorite hockey art

frantically scrolling through my art tag... not because i dont like any of my art (my drawings are all awesome would you believe) but because i dont even remember what ive drawn LMAOO

we dont mind more than just one art right ^_^ (like ive not been doing that already LOL

the doodles

i habe something to contribute / i shoot the puck / devin cooley eating joey daccords hair

the most important aspect of my own art is whether or not it makes me giggle . if it doesnt make me cry laugh then is it really goin on the fridge?

something i do feel proud of is balancing expression and likeness ^_^ its way easier knocking that balance with fictional characters as opposed to people with actual physical faces . simplifying them into what is essentially a poorly drawn cat meme is more of a beast than realistic portraits would you believe .

i think my favorite subject to do this with would be buoy actually! theyre a mascot, IDK why it should be a surprise that fae takes easily to being simplified and drawn cartoonishly

i do NOT know what emotion i shoot the puck is supposed to evoke.

really fun observin my freakish little drawings developing more of their own style over time (compare my first gubbi drawing to my latest tomas tatar thursday) (again, latest at the time of writing) and the simplification definitely feels way more intentional ^_^

the funnier half of simplifying is that the simpler it gets the more complex it gets? like more dramatic perspective in barkov and tkachuk in the cup or buoys weird pose with tomas tatar with the dynamo pardubice jersey. id mention shading but i actually have a grudge against shading relative to art advice ("just add shading" is NOT the one size fits all advice we treat it like ITS NOT!!!!)

the nicer stuff

do i hear a break down on individual pieces?

jan rutta picking up mackenzie blackwoods helmet

i think i made it planny clear on the original post but i really truly love the composition of this shot. ruttas hand picking up mackblacks helmet? between the legs? CRAZY.

the refs stance was wild by the way. legs so far apart theyre naming the ice between em an ocean. so on.

i remember the original shot being so striking to me because of the contrast between the cold and warm, the hard and the soft fleshy bits which was something i really wanted to exaggerate with colors

yall can probably tell i dont take my references SUPER literally but for some reason in this one i asked myself if it was deceitful to be messin with colors to get a vibe, to which i asked myself WHAT was i going on about

anyways. intentionally made everything but jan ruttas hand way bluer . i guess mackenzie blackwoods helmet is also warm? but the focus is the hand more than anything hahaha this is also why i did the most complex coloring for it

also another point of interest! included the chromatic aberration (the red/blue 3d effect) mostly because the legs on the right side were blending into each other . but its a really interesting effect to observe in actual recording! :) im not a fan of pressing my face up to a moving picture unfortunately </3

sidney crosby with evgeni malkins helmet

ok ok okay can i be honest . that stray line next to the penguins head has bothered me ever since the day after i posted this. now YOU cant unsee it. no problem ^_^

if you look at the original post, this one has been a wild redraw because i was making up a whole new angle of an existing pose LOL. then again i dont do redraws super often so i guess its not really ridiculous but.

actually now that i think about it i was making up the angle (albeit less) with the bobrovsky stigmata drawing (though its worth noting that i referenced this gifset of the save that was less of a severe change than the original tweet) and ignoring foreground elements for the kiss redraw (theres a big ol hockey stick covering jordan eberles head IIRC?) and the mackenzie blackwood holding his partners head redraws (i was absolutely NOT drawing the audience LMAO)

but the gesture was easy enough to capture but the anatomy had me by the NECK. the THROAT. the SCRUFF!!! it still looks plenty wonky to me but IMO gesture trumps accuracy . someone in the notes tagged it with this:

to which i throw my hands up in celebration and say hallelujah he has been accepted by penguins fans he will survive the winter

kraken goalies as animals

i really like drawing animals . i really like drawing armor .

more detailed breakdown on the post LOL i just really liked this and its super different from the usual stuff i post

i havent even mentioned all my sacrilegious drawings... my art is so awesome and cool its so hard picking a favorite...

and some final notes

if you made it to the end of this one jesus christ um. hello ^_^ even i wasnt writin this in one sittin.

honest to god if this post showed you anythin i love talking about my process and thoughts behind my works and if you wanted to ever ask hi hit me up ? ask box open? dms open? i can buy you dinner or a very shiny fruit from the market?

[padawansuggest]

Ok, so I was supposed to draw one small fanart, but I got carried away and created an au ^^''

Jedi cats Au

(Disaster lineage edition)

Yoda: Small green cat with tufts of white fur on his tail tip and across his spine. He loves being cuddled by the younglings as he tells them stories(basically their therapy, grandfather cat) and going on occasional trips to Dagobah for meditation (at least, that's his excuse). What he really does there is hunting frogs(he claims they're good for his bones) and camping out in the swamp(the whole trip traumatizing Dooku in the process).

Dooku: Huge white cat with brittle yellow eyes and spiked-up fur. He doesn't change much in his cat form, but when he does, he spends most of his time sunning himself on the council chairs(you can't blame him, cats can't resist such a good sunning spot), skulks around the temple corridors looking elegant and graceful, and steals sith holocrons out of nowhere so he could 'study' them(they were later confiscated and thrown out of the temple when Qui found out). He never lets anybody pet him except for Sifo, Jocasta, Qui, and sometimes Yoda(his adoptive father figure), or Obi-wan(his grandson whom he's secretly proud of)

Qui-Gon: Greyish brown cat with long silky fur and leaf-green eyes. He mostly hangs out on the temple's huge tree or goes on trips to Lothal to have tea with Loth-cats and wolves. (The Loth-cats kind of worship him as their 'god', and the wolves invite him and his apprentice for night strolls and 'singing to the moon' meetings)

He also randomly adopts kittens(padawans; in this case, Obi-wan, Anakin, and recently Ahsoka)

Obi-wan: Small auburn cat with darker splotches and grey-blue eyes. He's smaller than his apprentice but twice the sassiness. Cody loves to cuddle him and stroke his soft fur for hours while talking about how his day went(Obi doesn't mind^^). As a kitten, he constantly kept Qui company while he studied at night(at least that's what he says when Qui complains about his student/son being annoyingly cute and knocking over his mug of tea on purpose every five minutes).

Anakin: Brown tabby emo with sky-blue eyes. He hates sand, is very chaotic in many ways, and has a talent for annoying Obi(he actually passes down his 'abilities' to Ahsoka, who becomes more like her master). He also holds a record of being the most troublesome padawan in existence.

Despite all this, Padme finds him adorable (he often sneaks out of the temple in his cat form to meet his gf), but Obi-wan and Ahsoka know better(sure, he's nice and charming, yet can also be pretty stupid and reckless).

Ahsoka: Sleek, lithe, orange cat with white tail and blue stripes. Her Lekku still exists in her cat form as well as her facial markings(the Lekku are used to communicate with other cats or Jedi, and also play an important part in balancing their bodies while they leap agily or pelt across obstacles at high speed). 

Toruguti cats have very short, smooth fur on their bodies(the pelts are mostly an orangish hue, with blue stripes appearing on the back of their flanks as they get older), but their tails are often white, bushy and flecked with blue stripes.

She's one of the 501'th's favorites because she often hangs out with Rex and the clones(sharing stories, playing games... etc)(the clones especially love placing random things on her head until she moves). As her species are carnivores, she has an instinct for hunting small animals(sometimes leaving her half-dead prey on Anakin's desk like the cheeky adorable prankster she is).

I might upload some headcanons and designs btw

Have a nice day ^^

😭 NOT OBI CUB LOOKIN LIKE A LIL LIPN CUB PLZZZZZZ😭

Lil baby man who looks like an infant permanently no wonder he wants a beard so bad in human form.

Soka’s Lekku is so cute and I love how pissy Ani is. They’re all precious to me. Swamp kitty Yoda is so perfect.

[littlelovelyspiderling]

Hello lovely ☺️ how scandelous would it be to ask for perhaps a sneak peak of the next chapter?

👉👈 perhaps a lil snippet? A crumb? 🥹🥺🫣🙌

*clutches pearls* oh my…oh dear…i’ve never been asked this before 😳 this is a first for me.

am i allowed to do this?? why does it feel illegal lmao 🫨

i mean you did ask very nicely & i am dying to show the next chapter to yall & i am indeed a strong independent woman who can do whatever the hell she wants so…here you go?? i guess??

disclaimer: it took me a very hot minute to decide which part to do & i haven’t edited / beta read anything yet so it might change a bit once i post the full chapter…also hopefully this scene makes some kind of sense to you out of context. double also this will be the ONLY part i share bc i don’t wanna spoil the whole thing 😤 but i hope you like 🤭🩵

—————————————

“So…” Spider-Man said, voice low but playful. “Come here often, hot stuff?”

Despite his best efforts, Johnny busted into a laugh, shaking his head from side to side. “Shut up, you loser,” he giggled.

“Wait, wait, I can do better than that. Somebody call the fire department, ‘cuz this guy is smokin’.”

“Is this you attempting to flirt with me? Corny pickup lines and cheesy one-liners? You really think that’s the key to my refined and sophisticated heart?”

“Well? Is it working?” Spidey asked in whisper, the words curling upwards just like the goofy smile Johnny knew he had on behind his mask. The Human Torch rolled his eyes.

“You’re lucky you’re cute,” he mumbled fondly. The two of them kept their faces and bodies angled forward as they spoke, daring not to show any physical displays of affection with so many eyes on them.

“Pretty lousy atmosphere for a first date, if you ask me,” Spidey continued, quiet and coltish. “Some orchids or candles would’ve been nice.”

“You want to count this as our first date?” Johnny whispered back. “I was planning to take you somewhere with much better ambiance and way fewer older sisters around. Maybe rent a gondola and a string quartet or something. But if you’d like, we can always save that for date number two.”

Spider-Man shrugged. “Either way. Your idea does sound a lot more romantic than the humiliation ritual we’re about to be subjected to...”

Johnny ventured a look at the rows of heroes sitting in the arena’s viewing room and grimaced. “Especially with my teammates watching,” he said gravely. His gaze swiveled to his feet, and he swallowed. “I am so not good at this ‘keeping secrets’ thing, Webs. I really like you, and am obviously terrible at hiding it.” His hands knotted into fists at his sides. “So if you’re set on keeping this thing on the down low, we’ve really gotta sell the whole ‘platonic super bros’ shtick. We can’t do anything that even suggests that we like each other like that. Not with them watching us like fish in a bowl.”

Spidey faced him then, head drooping a bit. “I’m sorry I’m making you lie to your teammates,” he murmured. “I know firsthand how complicated it can get.”

“It’s all right. I lie to them about all kinds of stuff all the time.” Johnny smiled apologetically. “I just wish I was better at it.”

Spider-Man scratched the back of his neck. “Lucky for us, we’ll probably be too busy getting blasted by drones or pummeled by robotic thugs to do anything remotely romantic-y looking while we’re in here.”

Johnny elbowed him in the side. “Well, double lucky for us: we’ve done this exact drill in real life already, and won. I can’t imagine fake thugs or drones being any harder to beat than those insane kidnappers we fought.” Mischief tugged at the corners of his lips as he tucked his hands politely behind his back, raising his chin and tracing his gaze along the outline of Spidey’s throat. “And after we win this,” Johnny added, “I’m gonna drag you somewhere no one will bother us and spend the rest of the afternoon sucking on your neck until it’s all one big hickey. Sound good?”

A noise sputtered out of the masked hero that sounded like a cross between a cough and a squeak. Johnny clapped him triumphantly on the back as he strolled forward, whispering in his ear as he close as he dared as he passed by. “Best leave the flirting to the professionals, bug boy.”

——————————

TA-DA!! this feels so wrong but i hope it gives you a fun little taste of what’s to come heeheeHEEEE

[mikodrawnnarratives]

Okay I finished the BOOK

YAYYAYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYYA

God I need fanfics of Molly living with Giovanni now like T-T

AHGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH JUS

JU- AHHAHHSHHSHAHDJXBJBSKSJKZBSJS

Everything I ever WANTED

AND NOW THAT IVE FINISHED

My verdict on Lorelai:

I'm glad that whatever growth she may go through, Molly won't be suffering when she inevitably backtracks along the way. It'd be nice to see the two mend their relationship but it is definitely for the better that they've been separated.

I wanna see Lorelai struggle and grow but she shouldn't get anymore opportunities to hurt Molly, much less for the sake of her learning a lesson. So it's better this way imo

And now that Molly isn't there, Lorelai's gonna have to run the shop and learn her lesson through CUSTOMER SERVICE joining zuko and others in the redemption arc trend of becoming redeemed by dealing with bitchy people

I very much don't mind rotating Lorelai in my brain a lil more cuz I don't hate her. I want to bunt her across the room when she hurts Molly ofc, I will not retract my statements, but I hate HER FATHER more than her

Cuz her father has no excuse to be the way he is. I'll get back to Lorelai in a moment cause she is definitely NOT faultless, but HIM?? He enabled all of this. He never checked in with his daughters and was always so inconsiderate of them. AND HES A GROWN MAN! It's telling that Giovanni goes off on him more than he does Lorelai cause in the end, he did nothing.

Back to Lorelai, she feels like a very intentionally immature character. Immature and selfish in a way that contrasts with Molly when Molly is the actual kid. I mean, Lorelai is 17 and all but by that age you can fairly expect someone to grasp not leaving your 12 yr old sibling to suffer under responsibilities your supposed to share.

And Lorelai being immature I think is added to by her fear that she's the reason her mother died. And the grief in all that. I think it's a good enough reason to feel sympathetic for how she's spiraled into this unhealthy coping mechanism and separates her from her father when it comes to being a rotten person.

By the end of the book it still felt like she hadn't grasped WHY what she did was bad to me and I'm kinda hoping that was an intentional writing decision. The book shows how she doesn't grasp some things like what makes someone a genuinely horrible person and so for her to still not quite see how what she did was bad, feels fitting.

By the end of seemed to me like, she KNEW what she did wasnt okay because Giovanni told her off and she was confronted with the truth that, she wasn't the good guy. Yet knowing that didn't make her understand what her actions specifically caused. Despite. Molly telling her.

I want to look up shenanigans between Molly and Giovanni in fics but I also kinda want to see Naven and Lorelai's relationship with the steps she'll make to become a better person

So def a ways away from growing significantly but I like that Naven has stuck around offering his help should she accept it. I mean Giovanni did that too but Naven's role in her story hits HARD

[EDIT: God I'm embarrassed Naven only pointed out Giovanni's card he left behind, ONLY GIOVANNI reached out if she wanted to work on herself to be better BUT I STILL LIKE TO THINK SHE AND NAVEN KEPT IN CONTACT SHUSH he could like give her some tough love]

Speaking of relationships, idk about Giovanni x Lorelai

I mean I still think it could be cute, Lorelai's crushing scenes are hilarious as much as they are sad and envoke feelings of "I just want good things for Lorelai". I def don't think she deserves him rn but I do think that, since Giovanni hasn't shut down her becoming his minion in THE FUTUREE, when she learns to be good at being bad, she has a shot.

Though, it's still a little lost on me if Giovanni has figured out she has been crushing on him HARD. Like, he picked up on her cheating and bullying but did he pick up on any of the signs for her affection?? Makes me think she's gonna have a hard time in the friendzone if she became a minion. Not sure what Giovanni with a crush would look like either tho so.

I have a bit of a hard time seeing Giovanni crushing on her but I still think their dynamic is cute enough! Just dragged down by how awful she's been to everyone and HIS NUMBER 1 MINIONNN

but the more I think about it, I think it'd be great to see them as just friends. Like, getting on the level of best buds and Lorelai loses her crush on him. Both still maintaining the dynamic they had in that last fight with all the bantering cuz they are pretty similar

If they ever became romantic though. Like. Molly and Lorelai's relationship NEEDS to be healed and I think healed for a WHILE. I just can't see it working out otherwise. This would probably need to ring true if they were to become best friends too but EVEN MORE SO if they got mushy (as in the failed baking trials that would compromise 40% of the time they would hang out. Love language quality time)

Anyway

Ngl I already got my own angsty ideas for Lorelai because self hatred + not wanting to be the bad guy is such a delicious combination of traits that contradict each other yet still exist never the less

I wonder how Lorelai reacted the morning she realized Molly was gone and gone for good. I'm betting she at first believed she'd be hanging out with her friends and would be back. Then a day passes. Then another. And another. She asks her father if he's seen Molly and is reminded he doesn't care. I wonder if she confronted Naven about where Molly was, if she'd at first lash out when he doesn't tell her, and that reminds her why this happened.

She probably couldn't wallow in self pity for very long since she'd be working now, but still vry interesting how it'll play out